Sorry for the long winded post!
I am a mum to 3 beautiful children.
I love all of them, age ranging from 1 to 9.
But I feel I really struggle on a connection with my middle child (7)...
I feel Im way too hard on her, but at the same time she gets away with a lot more than her older brother.
She has a tendency to over dramatise situations, she cries at the slightest thing, and she has an attitude that I can only describe at times as a demon spawn.
She's energetic, loving, and sensitive.
But she's a very needy, attention seeking, demanding child. She needs to be the centre of attention. I would put it down as middle child, but she's only been a middle child for a little over a year, and she was like this before her younger sibling was born.
I've tried many different things to include her, make her feel like she is loved just as much as the others. But I feel like I'm getting nowhere. As she's getting older and finding her place, I can't help but think maybe there is something I haven't picked up on. She's not academically smart as such, she's struggling on her reading and her writing, she's in year 2. Sometimes it's like her brain switches off, and she never thinks before she acts. She's also very clumsy! I realise that all kids are different, and I'm in no way downsizing her, or thinking she's horrible, because she really isn't!
I am not the only one that thinks she can be difficult, my husband often struggles with disciplining her, relatives have asked how do we do it...
I do realise she does suffer some anxiety, and I have had her to our local GP for this. A few little changes helped her night time anxiety, but it hasn't helped her everyday needs etc.
I have spoken to a councillor about the way I personally feel towards her (nothing bad, just the lost connection I feel) and nothing has come from that either.
What is my next step!? I feel horrible, she is my first daughter, I see all these mums with this fantastic connection between themselves and their daughters, and I just don't have that, I'm at a loss. I feel more connected to my older son and youngest daughter, and that really rips my heart apart.
Please help! Xx
At a loss...
At a loss...
Posted in:
Mental Health, Kids
5 Replies
It's time for a peaditrician and child psychologist.
It might be nothing, but they are the two best professionals to help recognise if there is something, and the child psychologist can give you parenting strategies that work for her profile.
Do I need to make a doctors appointment and ask for these two specialists? I wouldn't have a clue where to start, this forum was my first avenue of help...
The other thing that I forgot to mention was she occasionally poos her pants at night time!!
I understand if it's due to sickness, but tonight was a solid number two in her pants ?
I try to be forgiving and understanding, but I just don't know if it's her acting out or a medical issue!
Yes speak to your GP
I would suggest go and talk to someone about it but I have 6 kids and I don't feel the same connection with all of them. I didn't have much of a connection with my oldest son until recently. He is now 14 and we are just finding our feet with each other now. My second son I've always had an amazing bond with. But my third one I don't feel much of a connection with either. I feel like I am always yelling at him for something and I dont feel like he thinks he has to listen to what I say. He frustrates me as much as I hate to admit it. But my youngest 3, I have amazing bonds with them.
Sometimes it seems to be a personality thing
Yes that's what I feel like I'm doing! Constantly yelling at her for some reason or another. I've tried sitting there and explaining things to her, but she just seems to zone about and almost give me or the wall an "I don't care" glance.
I really hope it's just a personality thing, and I'm just thinking too much into it xx