I read a blog recently from a mother who doesn't let her children have sleep overs.
Basically I took from the blog that her kids don't have sleepovers because you never know who is a child molester (honestly it may not have been the whole point of the blog but that's how I took it).
It got me thinking as to the reasons why parents let their kids have sleep overs and if there is any stipulations on that.
Also if you don't let your children go on/have sleep overs what is your reasoning behind that.
I don't ask this to open up the gates of judgement (god knows it's going to happen anyways) but wondered if the good old sleep over is slowly dying.
Sleepovers - Are they slowly dying.
Sleepovers - Are they slowly dying.
Posted in:
Kids
13 Replies
It's such a shame if it is, I have fantastic memories of sleep overs as a child.
My son has never had a sleepover (due to high medical needs) other than with family who have been given training, understand his medications, when to call ambos, when to resuscitate!
I know my son really values those nights away and has so much fun and gains confidence and independence from those sleep overs he does have.
My kids haven't reached an age where they can have sleep overs, but I'm hesitant to start as I don't want to say yes to some kids and no to others. I don't want to go down that path of leaving someone out and potentially making them feel bad. Plus with 3 kids, it's hectic enough at bed times.
My kids only have sleep overs with family, my boys are autistic and I know that not every one is a child molester but due to them not being aware of what is right and wrong themselves I can't risk it. My younger boy is verbal but could never tell me if something bad had happened to him. My older boy could be persuaded to not tell me. My older boy was in the same class as a child who molested other children in the classroom at school. I only found out because one of the molested children was a friends child. If my children were Nero Typical "normal" I wouldn't have a problem with sleep overs. I think it's all up to the parents no one can say what is wrong or right when it comes to it.
My son does not have sleeps overs because of his age. Except with my mum. We will allow him to have sleep overs when he is older, with people we trust
I am happy for my daughter to have a sleepover - but it must be with a family I know and trust AND I have been to their house! This is tricky when she gets requests from people outside our circle of trust as I will say no. we say she is busy and make an opportunity for me to go and check out her lifestyle, basically. simple things like knowing their take on younger kids watching M rated movies - some parents don't care - I do and my kids have nightmares, so it is important to me. I have popped around to people's places to find bongs on coffee tables, People mags in to loo and things I definitely don't want my kids exposed to - you don't know that unless you get into their circle. I will not trust just anyone to care for my children - they are amazingly precious and I will protect them as much as I can.
Mine are too young but will. With their friends, trusted people, parties. I guess I'll start doing it around 8 but more so teens. For noe its Dinner and movie and home later.
What age do most parents think is ok for a sleepover?
I've only got a 6 month old so obviously no sleepovers yet but I'm thinking back to my own childhood and I was probably maybe 10 ish before I had sleepovers with friends and it was only with friends whose parents were friends of my parents.
The problem with younger is they don't sleep well, wet the bed, wake up, they need to be able to take care of themselves.
I was around 6 but I was an excellent sleeper, had stayed over with family quite a bit, and was well and truly dressing myself, making my own cereal in the morning, and dry at night.
It really depends on the child I think.
My daughter is 4 and since a newborn has had one night a week at her grandparents house and from 3 has also started sleepovers with her cousin of the same age. i loved sleep overs as a child and she already wants to have them with kinder friends I don't see an issue with it if I've met the parents a few times.
I read a lot of "only at family " statements and if this is because of fear of molestation you're being naive. I was molested by four different family members at their homes. My father, Uncles from both sides and a maternal cousin. Sleepovers for me were always an escape, I was safe. Because of that I am protective of my children and you'd think that being the case I would never allow my daughters to have sleepovers but I did. I always met with the parents first and it was only after I was comfortable with them that I allowed it.
We let our boy have sleep overs our girl and a family friend want her also to stay but.....she has seizures so thats a no, I was abused by an uncle and a cousin from opposite sides of my family that doesn't help my decision to let her stay.
Our boy is loud and out going my girl is quiet like I was. I kinda think thats a personality the target.
Considering my niece was groomed by an uncle who lived with her grandparents, I will never allow my children to have a sleepover! When you're not safe with your family who can you be safe with???? (I now trust no one)