Hi there,just wondering if you could post this problem.
My 16 year old has a girlfriend,my question is,they are of age to be having sex,do i let them have sex in a warm loving environment,or do i not let them at all. Personally i don't like the thought of it in my home,i also don't like the thought of them doing it in a inappropriate place.i am so torn,what are your thoughts?
Thanks ?
16 year old and having sex at home
16 year old and having sex at home
Posted in:
Self Care
6 Replies
Honestly... Better home than anywhere else. But lay down ground rules with your son. Not when there's people at home, doors closed, wear a condom, clean up after yourself and be respectful. I'd ensure to also let him know that sex is a bug responsibility. Even though precautions are being taken there is always a possibility of his girlfriend falling pregnant and he needs to be aware that if it happens a he needs to be responsible and take responsibility for his actions.
I'd also say, be discreet... It's great your in love but we don't need constant public affection, hand holding a kids a every not and then is fine, but a full on past and bum grabs and grinding is off limits.
I think a lot depends on how discrete they are at home and if other kids are in the home. If I had younger children I probably wouldn't be as open to it and if they were loud and obnoxious I'd also say no.
I think they want to have sex in the home they have to be able to have adult conversations and house rules need to be followed. Eg making sure that they are fully dressed if they leave the room to go to the bathroom.
I also think it's important to set boubdaries on how many nights sleep overs are allowed. Moving in shouldn't be an option but a sleep over on Friday and Saturday night might be appropriate. Also a discussion with his girlfriends parents over there expectations.
Tricky, my self says better to allow it and make it an open topic for discussion, my parent mind says ew no. I like the idea to discuss with her parents and give them the chance to be involved and up to speed too.
Their going to do it no matter what. I would personally prefer my children to be at home than in a park or the back of someones car. I would encourage the girl to be on contarceptives and also a condom being used. My parents never let me have any of my sexual partners home and we ended up in all sorts of dodgy places. I would rather be open with my children and make sure their in a safe environment.
I think you need to ask the question of why you don't like it. Is it moral based, or is it the thought that your boy is no longer a baby and fast becoming a man. If it's moral based, then you have that conversation with him. If it's a letting go thing, then you need to look into yourself. This is just addressing your feelings about the matter as I'm sure you're aware of teenagers, hormones and everything that comes with it! I am the same with the other ladies on the action side of it. Let him do it at home, set ground rules. Give him (and his girlfriend) respect about it, and keep that communication line open. By saying no (I'm sure you no) will make it worse, make him secretive and he'll do it anyway.
Have a discussion with him about safe and consensual sex and respect for his girlfriend.
Make sure he understands to not pressure or feel pressured to have sex with his girlfriend. Its really important. Safe sex also! Buy him condoms if hes too embarrassed to do it himself.