This is probably not even a problem to be honest but it worries me. I have two children to a previous relationship, 2 and 3 year old. My partner has none, but he wants two more, I would love two more, not an issue right? We spoke and decided we should try in June, I thought, sounds great! I organised some study that I want to do before baby etc etc and now work isn't as strong and I need to go back to work but daycare is going to cost a fortune but we have to make it work, so he feels like we should wait and have a baby in about 5 years, which I'm happy to do but I'm feeling a bit torn in the fact of, I've been a stay at home mum for three years, in 5 years my kids will be in school full time, I'll get to continue on with my career and become a person again not just a mum, what if I don't want to come back to the life of the stay at home mum whose hair is always a mess, is over sleep deprived and her career is yet again out of reach? It's okay for him! He continues to work and he doesn't get fat and he doesn't have to change his lifestyle for 9 months, but what about me? What if I don't want to give my career up again? Give my body up again? Give all of me to a baby again? I understand waiting is ideal, but what if I feel like it may be a "now or never" kind of thing. I love this man and his taken my children on as his own and I'd love to give him a child of his own, but I really don't want to give up my own dreams and ambitions with it! Now I may feel in 5 years I'm more the happy to take a year or two off work, but if I don't? What then? What if I don't want anymore kids and he does?
2 Replies
Totally understandable feelings!
And how great that you realised these things now and not in 5 years!
Talk to him and tell him all the things you just wrote-as they are all completely valid points.
From an outsiders p.o.v I would say compromise and find a happy medium somewhere between june and 5 years! Maybe in a years time?
I know what youre sayng, im looing forward to getting back to my life too. Have you discussed it with him. Theres never an ideal time, if its just work/study it might as well be now. I thin theres a middle ground , a year or year and half is enough time to prepare.