My daughter is 7. Everyone tells me she has a beautiful personality. She is smart and Her Teacher tells me she is a happy student. She had a bit of mild anxiety about certain things last year but It calm down this year but her negative attitude has sky rocketed.
Every day is just terrible. She could have 100 good things that Happen in her day but if 1 bad thing happens. She acts like her life is the worst.
Every day I pick her up from school and she throws her bag at me and says she had the worst day ever. Usually it's something as little as a child laughed at her, the teacher gave a reward to another child, tommy kept asking to used her skipping rope Which annoy her .
I'm a sympathic and listen and say sorry u had a bad day. And try to give her suggestions on how to think differently and make things better
But Some days I get some over the negative "woe is me" attitude I snap. I told her the other day she is gonna have a terrible life if u keeps thinking this way.
Today after her telling me she had a terrible day because she didn't get to Pick out a prize from the reward box. I said "u didn't have a terrible day. There is 28 kids in ur class. 27 didn't get a prize. I don't see anyone else upset, over it. You do not know what a terrible day is"
Also She has a real fear of getting In Trouble. Yesterday she got in trouble from a Substitue teacher because she forgot to put her hand up before answering a question. The teacher made her put her name on the board for being naughty. (I think it was a bit of a overkill for just forgetting to put her hand up, but she needs to learn u sometimes get in trouble and that u just need to learn From it and move on). She sobbed all night.
It a common phrase for school kids to say "I'm telling the teacher". And 90% of the time they don't. But she is so terrified of upsetting children or not doing what they ask her to do in fear of getting told on she lets them walk all over her. And as soon as another child says that phrase to her. She cries And usually worries about it all day.
I just don't know what to say to her.
I listen to I try to reassure her. I say "u did nothing wrong so let them tell the teacher".
I tell her to ignore them.
I get tough on her and tell her to get over it. But nothing works.
How do I make her see the glass is half full. And not be so worried about getting in trouble
5 Replies
I'll be following this. My daughter is younger but exhibits some of these traits. I'd call her a people pleaser, an over thinker, a stickler for rules, a soft hearted girl, a worrier and her reflections on things she mostly enjoyed are sad and bad.
She's also bright funny and friendly and seems to enjoy most things in the moment.
I am interested to see any suggestions
Oh wow, you've just described my 10 year old! Except she's not overly negative all the time. She's actually ridiculously positive at times. But when it comes to certain things regarding school, her own abilities, how ppl treat her etc....she can be very negative. But it's ALL because of her anxiety and over-thinking. Do you or your husband possess a pessimistic personality? Has she learnt this off you guys ? Sounds like you've greatly underestimated her anxiety, though. My guess is she's a lot more anxious than you realise. No idea on how to approach not liking getting in trouble and being walked all over. This is my daughter, too. I feel like every year is just "getting her through it". She struggles with getting pushed around and walked over purely because she is not assertive and just wants to please everyone as she hates it when people aren't happy with her. I've put it down to purely personality. She is my Mother. No amount of talking about it has helped.
What have you done for her anxiety? How was it diagnosed and were you given any strategies?
I never took her to see someone. One of my good friend who lived interstate is a therapist and gave me some good advice and help. And it worked. wit her irrational fears/anxiety..
But maybe ur right maybe it's just changed.
Maybe I'll speak to my friend again and see if she think she needs to see someone to talk through her issues.
The issues you describe here are the symptomatic of generalized anxiety disorder - constant worry, fatalistic thinking, one negative throwing off a hundred positives.
I'd recommend getting your daughter accessed by a psychologist who specializes in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). They can teach her skills to access these negative thought processes and get her on track.
Speak to your GP to get a health plan and a referral.