I have just found out that my son 5, has been separated from the rest of his prep class and made to sit alone. I have only found this out today and not sure how long this has been happening.
He has been thru a lot of big changes as of late due to myself separating from his father and also from his father re partnering, new siblings and moving house etc. The teacher has expressed in the past that his behaviour has deteriorated over the last few weeks but has never mentioned isolating him from the rest of his class as a disciplinary action..
I have explained to his teacher previously what has been happening in his life that may have effected his behaviour and now I find out that she is disciplining him with out informing me of her approach..
I am fuming.. It feels so wrong to do this to a child..
Please does any one have any advice on how to approach this?
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9 Replies
Parent teacher and principal meeting sounds like a good way to go. Express all of your concerns b if principle isn't on your side consider your options then.
Perhaps ask if u can sit in the class or do a parent roster to see how his going during the day. Even if ur son isn't misbehaving Iam almost curtain someone else's child will and then you can see how the teacher copes and what she does
She is probably doing it less less to punish your child and more so that other children are not being disrupted. I'm sure you would be equally mad if your child wasn't learning because of another child. It will a short term measure until she has figured out how to best help him.
I don't understand why parents get so mad about this. Communicate (positively and respectfully) that in future you would like to be informed about this in the future. But seriously parents need to let teachers do their job. And if your child is preventing that then yep they need to sit by themselves for a while.
I agree, I think parents need to put themselves in the teachers shoes to really understand what they are dealing with. For e.g. try multiplying your son by 25 and then dealing with that much energy. Trying to teach is challenging enough, but when you add five year old's and their testing behaviour to the mix, sometimes it is a necessary action...otherwise you deal with other children not learning because of your child's distracting behaviour. Unfortunately, your child is not the only kid in the class that is a priority.
Change is hard for little ones, however it can't be an excuse for misbehaving in class. With 1 teacher and 24 prep children between ages 4 and 6, it makes sense that if 1 child is misbehaving and disrupting the class that they would be sent to time out.
I just saw that someone else said above to volunteer to help out in class. This is a GREAT idea. You will learn more about your teachers teaching style, plus be there to help your child in class.
My son is in grade 1 this year, and feedback from his teacher was he is very shy, won't raise his hand to speak and is too reserved. My husband now takes time out one morning a week to help out in the classroom and just by doing this we have seen a huge change. He is more confident, has more friends and is participating.
From the POSTER: It is my opinion that the teacher had chosen not to give him the opportunity or choice to behave and has singled him out and made him to feel isolated. So I spoke to the principal yesterday afternoon about my concerns. She has already spoken to the teacher about different approaches in the best interest of Jayden and the class. I agree that they have to implement actions to stop the disruptive behaviour. I have no problems with him being separated for short periods of time but not all the time. He needs to learn from his behaviour and be given a chance to correct.
I will also be happy to let every one know that I received a email from the teacher today..
"I would let you know Jayden has had an absolutely beautiful day so far today. He is full of smiles, has been super creative and on his best behaviour!!
Very happy!!
As a teacher, I have to say I disagree slightly with your approach. I think it is a bit cut throat that you went around the teacher to talk to the principal about your "concerns." How do you know for sure that her intentions where to single your child out and isolate him with no real intention of teaching him to correct his behaviour, I hope it is not the word of your 5 year old, as they tend to remember moments that lasted 2 minutes to be 3 hours in their eyes. Just remember, a positive and mature relationship with your child's teacher can only benefit you and your child. You need to also be understanding of her daily battles.
From the Poster...
The teacher had opportunities to discuss any approaches or actions she had made and she was not very forthcoming on any methods she was using. From the first letter, I made the effort to correct his behaviour at home as I was quite shocked to hear the word "deteriorating" (I also use time out and discipline at home). If the teacher informed me of her methods up front and where in the guide lines of the code of school behaviour, I would have not taken the direct approach.
Also I was told buy a concerned adult and not my child that they had seen his desk had been separated from the rest of the class for days not just short intervals.
It is the aim of the school to provide a rich nurturing environment.
I have nothing against her personally and also think she is a good teacher but as I am his mother and I will also do what I think is best for my child. I approached the principal due to concern that this sort of punishment is not in the best interest of my child and would have a negative impact on his wellbeing. It was not a negative attack on the teacher.
Everyone needs to learn or be taught how to deal with things... Including teachers who are just starting there career. I am happy I went to the principal who is also a prep teacher with many years of experience as she can help guide teachers and improve procedures in difficult situations.
With all this said.. I will always put the best interest of my child first with out being made to feel guilty for it.