Finding it hard to be a good friend.

Hello imperfect mums!

(I'm sorry this is so long!)
I'm really struggling at the moment and trying to be a good friend but I really feel like I'm failing. I'm doing my best to keep it together for her but I'm nearly at my breaking point and I don't think she even knows.

Bit of history- this friend of mine I have know for nearly 10 years and we've had blues like all friends do but we've always moved forward. I wouldn't say we were the best of friends but we do speak 2-3 times a week and keep in regular contact. If we don't we understand life gets In the way sometimes and it's not a big deal.

Now, this is the second time we have been pregnant at the same time. This time we are due only a few weeks apart. Unfortunately she lost her baby halfway through her last pregnancy (my child was about a month old at the time).

Understandably we drifted apart for a short time while she was grieving. While I don't pretend to know what she went through I always let her know that I was there if she needed me for anything. I did my best to keep in contact without being in her face or pushy. She stopped contact for some time and that's ok (after months we reconnected and we were fine).

Now this pregnancy started off well for her however it has had minor complications that are being closely monitored by specialists. I understand her fears and worries and I'm not pretending it isn't terrifying.
I have been having my own complications with my pregnancy and I'm struggling myself with my own health problems and I feel like I'm being weighed down trying to keep us both afloat.

Whilst her circumstances are quite different to mine it does not make mine any less severe. It also does not make it a competition.
I check in with her to see how her and bub are getting along because I genuinely care about them both. She asks me about my health but I rarely get the chance to say what's happening before she cuts me off to talk about her again.

She also messages me at all hours to whinge and complain that people keep contacting her to see how they are. She frequently says they're only asking to be nosy and find out if she's had the baby yet.
I've tried reassuring her that her other friends are concerned for her and are genuinely interested in how she is. Not for gossip. I've reminded her she can chose how much or how little she shares. But it always turns into a drama.

The smallest question can set her off on a rant. I honestly don't know what to do anymore because I can't keep taking her heat but I don't want to ignore her because she will need people around her when she gets to take her baby home.

I'm quite concerned about her mental health. She often tells me that she will be locking her and her baby away from the world and doesn't want or need anyone's help. And she doesn't need everyone sitting around waiting for her to fail as a mother...

I really don't even know what im asking anymore. I feel incredibly conflicted, I want to be there for her and I'm doing my best, but I need space to be able to deal with my own health as well. I'm at the point where I see her name on my phone and I don't even want to speak to her because I know I'll end up either cranky, drained or just frustrated..

And I feel awful for feeling this way about her because of everything that has happened.

I'm sorry this is so long. I think I just needed to vent to get it all out before I end up saying something in anger, and that's the last thing I want to do.

If you got to the end of this, thankyou. I don't know if anyone has anyways of handling this Or what exactly I'm after.
But hopefully people realise I'm posting with good intentions not just bitching about someone