My husband and I have finally split for good. Married for 12 years and I've finally got the courage to walk away and know I'll be ok on my own. I found myself a great job in a town I hate. We moved here to be closer to his family who don't even babysit! He is now living with them and the children aren't allowed to go there. His mother came around to tell me why, because she works sometimes on the weekend and they don't need children running around when they're tired from getting up for work. Plus the excuse of having no room (it's a 3 bedroom house...). My ex pays no child support as he is working for himself sporadically. He was coming around for short visits here and there which was just upsetting my children even more. I've suggested he pick them up either on a Saturday or Sunday and spend all day with them, have dinner with them at either his parents house or out and then bring them back. And I want him to commit to that every week so I can tell my kids that that is when dad is coming. He won't. I am working full time and have no family here. Leaving isn't really an option as I have a really great job. If my mum was alive I know she'd be here in a heart beat. I'm trying to do the best I can and I've worked really hard on keeping myself strong and positive but his bullshit is wearing me down again. What do I do from here? I can't force him to spend time with our kids, and in the mean time I'm left picking up the pieces of them getting angry, frustrated and upset. Anyone had similar experiences?
3 Replies
My situation is similar (he moved in with his parents & they also didnt allow our children there) I told him to shape up or stay away. He chose to stay away, even when I offered to pick him up and drop them to maccas/ or the park for a couple hrs, he said he was busy, so after 8 months, the kids and I moved interstate back to where my family are. We havent heard from him in 2 years now
Yes i was left with the kids and no help. Not a friend not a family member. I used daycare and I took extra time for myself before I picked them up. I had me time at night and planned the weekend including cleaning, outing, home, and activities where I could get a break. My whole week was scheduled by the hour. It was hard but I really think it would be harder always ecpecti him and feeling let down. You'll get through it, you'll get sorted. Focus on making it yourself, work on making friends, building your support network, you'll get there in time.
Mediation. They will make sure it's kept reasonable and that it's structured. If he has no where to take them have it supervised then he has a location and its booked.