Hi Ladies.
Im going through an emotional rollercoaster at the moment and im trying to make sense of things. So if this gets difficult to read, sorry. Im scatter brained at the moment.
My husband and i have been together for 8 years (married for 5) and we have a small child. He has never held a steady job for longer than 3 months. He is studying at the moment but doesnt put in any effort and is failing. Ive offered to help him, ive physically brought his books to him and he makes every excuse not to do any study or says ill do it later/tomorrow. When he does study its for a max of 30mins. Ive tried talking about it and asking how i can help but it usually ends in an arguement. I have to get him out of bed Every. Single. Day. That always starts and argument. He plays his xbox, doesnt help with housework, argues with me when i ask him to do the smallest thing, doesnt do anything. I study part time, look after our child, do the housework, pay the bills, do the shopping etc and im chronically ill. i have 26 medical conditions. One of my conditions is where my bones are very slowly fusing together, its terminal. Not right now but eventually this disease will kill me. I also work from home. I get no affection. No thankyou. No asking how i am. Just complaining and arguing. I told him that ive had enough and he has a choice to make..... whether to grow up and act like an adult, husband and father... or to get out of the house.
He uses all the bad things that has happened in his life as an exuse for EVERYTHING. But he wont do anything about it.
Ive stopped doing things for him. Eg his washing. Now everything i dont do for him just piles up and sits there.
Am i kidding myself here? Should i pack up our child and myself, and just leave? he would never hurt our child but he leaves our child to do whatever (in the house) and gives crackers and things like that for our child to eat. And then yells when our child is cranky from being tired and hungry. Im absolutely at my wits end
8 Replies
Yep, when youve tried wverything, when you know he wont or cant change as much as you need, when youre happier without him. Its time to take the leap and start going in the right direction.
Time to go, you are done. When he won't even try and help you know he has no intentions of changing
Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can change.
Personally I'd say you should leave but I'm only getting one side of the story and it's not that simple.
Does he have depression? Is he addicted to gaming? There are some signs there that indicate yes.
No addictions. No depression. Doctors have said time and time again that he shows no signs of depression. He has been to councilling and the psycologists have said the same. He constantly tells me he wishes he was 16 again so he can go out and have fun. Ive told him that im not stopping him from going out with his mates. Im not his mother, i cant and dont tell him what he can and cant do. He acts like a child. His mates have grown up. His best mate told me he doesnt want to hang out with him because of the way he acts (i havent told him, i told the best friend thats up to him to tell hubby)
What a douche. My ex used to say he never had teh chance to club and go ro festivals like me, i never stopped him, what he really meant was, he didnt want to be married.
Well.
With that info I think you know what you need to do.
Good luck mumma xx
You need a man hun not a boy
I always think when people ask this question that when you post this you know you're done and just need some support to do it. You have given it 8yrs and what has changed? Get out now before u waste any more time. He's never going to change while u are still there letting it all continue. Tell him you love him but can't let him treat you like this anymore and he has to move out. Reclaim your life and your pride. You owe it to yourself, your child and to him as he will never grow up and be ok while he has you to lean on. Good luck X