My ex was a secretive drug user (illegal & prescription) & a compulsive liar & manipulator to myself & anyone he knew. He says he's clean now but I just don't know whether to believe him. His behaviour to me seems fine, a little up & down but he puts that down to the new antidepressant he's on. But others close to me have noticed small things like 'being a little happier than usual' or 'his eyes looking a little different to normal'. I want to believe he is clean, nowadays he is a good dad & great with our son & him & I are getting along ok (not anymore than friends).
I have found myself missing the 'good' him & have enjoyed spending time with him as friends but this just triggers me to no end. I am torn & feel so alone, down & lost. The relationship was toxic & I need to keep reminding myself of this.
I guess what I'm asking is how do I approach this situation? If I asked him if he was taking anything, he'd say NO regardless of the truth. What do I do from here?
2 Replies
I think if he is clean he would be happy to undergo regular drug testing. I think keep reminding yourself that the rekationship was toxic and that he needs to prove himself.
Chemist's sell drug tests, ask him to take one. Be prepared for a reaction from him but stick to your guns. Tell him he broke your trust in the past and you need to know once and for all if he is telling the truth. Try and get the oral test as they are harder to manipulate into a false negative. I make my ex take one every time he comes to visit our son (it's been 3 times now) because I need to know how cautious I have to be with him around our son. Unfortunately, nothing you say or do will be able to change him to focus on what YOU can do to move forward in your life. Remind yourself that you left because it wasn't right and you deserve someone who is on the same page of life as you. Remind yourself that you ARE so strong and that this is a brand new chapter in your life. Focus on your child, and your future with him. You can't control your ex but you can control the way you feel and think about your situation now. Hang in there Mumma, it eventually gets easier