Hi I'm a single mum of a very active and demanding 4yo boy and live alone, far from family. Dad gets every second weekend but doesn't always show up. I wanted to know how long is appropriate for 'alone time'. I smoke cigarettes so every hour or 2 I go outside for 10-15minutes of smoke/Facebook time. Other times we are in the same vicinity but I am not actively playing with him. Eg- watching tv but I am on my phone. Eg-cooking or cleaning and he is not interested in helping. He is never unsupervised, he will happily play alone and I don't allow him to play outside unless I am there. I spend a lot of quality time with him I take him to parks, movies, beach, swimming, skate park etc. but when we get home I feel so drained and I have so much to do and I will switch off for an hour(still get him drinks and snacks but mentally switched off) we sleep and wake at the same times 8pm to 630am so that is my alone time that I feel I miss out on. He goes to daycare and I spend that time catching up on 'business' I can't get done while he is around eg-going to the post office, doctors appointments, shopping. So pretty much I feel bad that he doesn't get 100% of mum sometimes and wanted to know is this normal?
1 Replies
Totally normal. In fact I think engaging with our kids 24/7 is not a good plan, nor is it doable without going insane for most people.
Seriously the parents of the 50s/60s/70s used to send there kids outside and you were only expected back for meals! We put so much pressure on ourselves to cater to our children's every whim these days and it isn't good for them.
Kids need to know how to entertain themselves and it's good for them to see that mummy has interests other than me. That mummy is also a person.