I fell pregnant last year to my current partner but circumstances meant I had to abort the pregnancy. I felt fine about the abortion initially because it had to be done. But lately I've been really regretting having to have it done.
My first child I had to have as a c-section and thanks to depression I felt I had failed by not having my gorgeous 5yr old naturally.
I'd love another baby but my partner doesn't want another. We have two children between us, 5yrs and 10yrs. We've known each other 9yrs but only been dating 2yrs. I'll be 30 this year and I really want another.
I'm on birth control and I'm really tempted to just stop it again but I'm job hunting for a career change and not sure what do to.
I suppose I'm asking for suggestions or what you would do.
what should I do
what should I do
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Pregnancy
2 Replies
I would not stop taking your contraceptive. Your partner doesn't want another child so it's wrong to force him into something he doesn't want. You need to decide if not having another child is a deal breaker for you. If it's a deal breaker it's time to go your separate ways so you can find someone who does want more kids.
But I'd probably get myself counselling first. It sounds like you are not thinking very clearly and need some help sort out what you really want.
Hmm you sound as though there is alot going through your mind at the moment and probably just need to talk it all out.
If you have been diagnosed with depression in the past is it possible for you to get a referral from your gp to a counsellor/psychologist to start tackling some of these issues?
Here is my advice anyway:
1. I havent had an abortion but im sorry for your pain and regret, but the past is done, it cant be undone, talk to a professional about ways to accept it and be able to move forward. Im thinking maybe a part of you wants another baby to compensate for the one that was lost. This wont work, you need to deal with the pain of the abortion before having another.
2. Please do not go off birth control and fall pregnant without your partners consent. Its unfair to both him and the child. And theres no guarantee he will hang around because theres a baby involved and then you will be a single parent with two kids. And thats a hard road.
3. Please please dont think you failed by having a c-section, you grew and protected a baby in your body and thats a magnificent thing. It truly does not matter how a life came into this world, just that they came into it healthy and alive.