Child refuses to have a relationship with the other parent. What do I do?

Sorry, long-winded post :-)

I feel at a loss with it all and don't know what to do. Please help? Suggestions, your experiences, who should I talk to? is there someone the child can speak to? etc.

What rights do children have if they do not want to have a relationship with the other parent?
Child refuses to speak, spend any quality time and doesn't want anything to do with the other parent. What do I do?

October last year child-voiced opinion to the other parent that they do not want to speak to them anymore. And even though that was said, I still kept pursuing the other parent to speak to the child, but the child wouldn't speak, so the whole entire time on the phone to the child, all you could hear was the child breathing but no words came out of the child's mouth. This happened a few other times on each occasion. (up until the phone calls stopped - after Christmas)

(child voiced opinion of no longer wanting anything to do with the other parent over 2 years ago to me and grandparents).

I've always supported the child to have a healthy relationship with the other parent, but it hasn't always been that way. The Child is a pre-teenager (11) and is adamant wants nothing to do with the other parent. I feel I have failed as a parent and although I have always supported the relationship between them both, the other parent hasn't helped and has been flakey with building a trusted and reliable relationship with the child - while I picked up the pieces (physically, emotionally and financially).

There are court orders in place, but nothing in regards to the child has to see other parent X amount of times etc. It's just what has been agreed upon with each parent. The child has seen the other parent a handful of times during the separation, nothing is consistent and the other parent promises the child the moon and cancels the arrangements, which then the child is disappointed (this has happened more times than the other parent has seen the child).

Between the time of separation and now (nearly 10 years), the relationship between both parents have been emotionally exhausting, I've recently filed a DV against the other parent due to emotional abuse (including the child) including threatening physical harm and the emotional damage the other parent has done to the child (including name calling, swearing, oversharing, threats etc). It has been approved and granted for 2 years. (I should have filed this years ago, but I thought the other parent would have stopped.)

As of the last 2 years, the child has vocally stated opinions, objectives and refuses to have anything to do with the other parent. It makes me sad, that the child doesn't want to have a relationship with the other parent and I'm so torn. My main focus is making sure the child is happy, healthy and safe (etc.) but I'm always making sure I'm doing what is right between them both and what I legally have to do - so I don't break the law (etc.), but also wanting to support child through it all.

Edit: The child lives with me 100% and the other parent lives in another state.

Since the DV has been approved, the other parent has gone through legal aid in the steps for mediation. I'm doing all that is required of me in this process, but my heart is breaking for our child, who will, in fact, be forced into something they do not want to be in.

I look at it and think this may be a good thing (as I'm optimistic), but my gut tells me otherwise. I have spoken to the child about a few things re; seeing the parent again and try and build up a trusted relationship, but child refuses and says that I cannot force it upon them and they do not want anything to do with the other parent.

What can I do? Can the child have a say in the parental matters? and if so how?

Prior to stopping the phone calls, each time the child would speak to the other parent, the child became a different person, became emotionally and physically withdrawn and would find any reason to not speak to the other parent - including quickly jumping into the shower, running outside or climb into bed and go to sleep Or like mentioned above, wouldn't say a word.

I just feel as though the other parent is pursuing the mediation for the wrong reasons. I feel as though it's happening due to me filing for a DV and it being approved.

The other parent is unreliable, abusive, selfish and does not consider the child's feelings, forces child to do things against their will etc. Also tells the child that the other parent (me) is (a whole lot of disrespectful words) and calls the child horrible names e.g. fat, stupid, ugly (as the child looks like me) etc.

The other parent continually reminds the child that the other parent (me) is a 'witch and will burn in hell' etc. On numerous occasions over the years (I have spoken and emailed the other parent to stop the abuse and the vulgar language towards child) the other parent overshares with the child, in relation to only adult appropriate conversations (things the other parent should be sharing with a friend, not with a child) e.g. sexual relations and sexual physical activity etc.
The other parent thrives on making open threats to child and tries to force the child into things when the child kindly refuses. Each time these conversations occur, the phone gets cancelled (hang up) and the majority of the time the child asks questions, to which I have to explain that the other parents are being inappropriate.

As of the last two years, the child has been extremely defensive and goes into protective mode when the other parent speaks rudely of me to the child. The other parent just brushes it off, continues talking or creates a new topic.

Edit: I thought it was age as in the reason the child wanted nothing to do with the other parent, but the child has been voicing opinions on this since the child was 5-6 years old. But since getting older the opinions have become clearer and the reasoning behind it is legitimately concerning.

What can I do? I know what I should do, but what can I legally do? So the child can be heard and their opinion can be respected (legally wise).

At present, the child hasn't spoken to the other parent in 4 months. And I'm in the process (haven't started yet) going through mediation.

Add on edit: In regards to ICL (independent child's lawyer) how much do they cost? Can I apply through Legal Aid or they run privately?

TIA x