Today I went to court to face the man who ruined my life. Who not only took my jobs my money but my hopes on believing men are good. He tried to kill my unborn child by attacking me. He has broken my eye which a year later is still sore and I have a bag under my eye and I'm only 22. He took my teenag hood my food years and I gave him so much and in ruturn he ruined my soul.
I left him in may last year and I ran to Melbourne to his where he found me cause he was tracking my phone. I came back to NSW and took out an avo in June. He said he was Innocent to everything he did. Court had been adjourned a few times because of my pregnancy and when she was born I tried to put her on the avo and the police forgot to give him the summons so I had to go back in two weeks only for it to happen again. The police have not dealt with the case at all every well. Telling me u can't charge him especially for rape because I had given my consent then during I wanted to stop and he wouldn't let me forcing me on him. The prosicutor never calls me when i leave a message telling me she doesnt meet with her clients. I'm forever going down there asking questions. And I'm over it!
Today I was ready to face him to get up in the stand and say what I had to say. I got my best friend to baby sit my daughter as I did not want him seeing her I expressed for 2 weeks to get enough milk. I worked my self up for it. And wheni got there i saw him the man who hurt me who raped me who wanted to kill my child with his new girl friend who mind you just turned 18 and finished school after our daughter was born he is 25. He looked at me gave me the I love you face he use to give me and I freaked. I then went into the court room with him he looked so scared more scared than what i was which showed he didnt think he could win. I started to shake my cousin had to support me. I sat and waited to be called. And I was. Only to be told it had been adjourned to the end of April!!!!!!!
How is this fair how can they keep aitourning it. I don't know if I can keep fighting it. He wants me to give up. But I won't!! He doesn't deserve to walk away and his new girl friend needs to hear what he did even if she doesn't believe it she thinks the ring he got her for Xmas was for her but he also got it for me when he proposed! What can I do? What do I say I want it to go ahead so i can move on with my life. Once justice is made. When it goes ahead I can be free to walk around with out being scared. I feel so cheated. There is an interim but its not a final. I just want to be able to move on and stop having to face him in court and having to look over my shoulder all the time. I PTSD because of him now. What do I say to the police to say I have had enough?! I left him coming up a year when the next hearing is being held. I can't live like this today I thought i was going to be free.
feeling cheated by police
feeling cheated by police
Posted in:
Mental Health
6 Replies
I know you must be disappointed. It would be horrible. But you need to dig down deep and keep fighting.
Letting it go will be disastrous for you and your baby.
Hang in there x
Keep fighting.
Ask the prosecutor if its possible to tell your side through video link.
Tell them that its unbearable to be in the same room, and you're worried the anxiety it is causing you will impact your statement.
Good luck, and best of wishes through all of this.
(And btw - saying no during does count as sexual assault. You might not be able to have him charged as it requires a lot of evidence, as its easy for a woman to say they said stop when they didn't - or for a man to say she never said stop when she did - but you still need to accept what he did and get the appropriate help to move past this)
That's awful - no advice but sending my thoughts and prayers for you xx
You need to make a complaint about the prosecutor, the police officer who told you that it wasn't rape (it bloody well is!) and about them failing to deliver the summons! This is completely unacceptable. You can make the complaint online direct to the ombusman. What they are doing is WRONG and completely unprofessional. My Father is a cop in SA so I'm pretty up to date with the processes and this is what he would tell anyone to do.
https://www.ombo.nsw.gov.au/complaints/complaint-form
Do you have a local womens centre? Speak with them.
Do you speak with the domestic violence liason officers? If not already you need to speak to them.
I am not sure what else to say. I am about to leave mine. I absolutely no how you feel. What I want to understand is how can the abusive one always be let off and listened too when we the victim who never wanted this. Never provoked this. Be looked on as the bad one! For years I have tried to stay and to make it work for everyone else and because I look bad for breaking my family up. Because I am petrified of what he will do and the unknown. What will he do to my kids.... what if he hurts them.... I have no idea what he is capable of. To everyone else he is absolutely not who he seems on the outside. If I can tell anyone that abusers are not what you see outside the home PLEASE listen. I also suffer ptsd from the abuse and who knows what else..... your not alone and it really also frustrates me that they are dragging it along.
The worst thing is they pretend to be the victim :( who js going to believe us when its hard enough for us to believe how manipulative a person can be!!!
I am sorry. I wish I could help you. I believe in you. Xxxxx
The system is far from perfect. And I'm sorry that this has been your experience . Have you linked up with a local domestic violence service ? They can offer you counseling and advice around navigating the system and understanding what happens etc. they can also help advocate for you with police and often have a good relationship with them so can find out more info for you .
Most police stations in Nsw now have a domestic violence liaison officer which is who you should speak to when trying to find out more info . Good luck xo