Hi, my son's 4 years old and people keep bringing up Aspergers. His father has it and this seems to be the main excuse they use for asking. I feel like if one more person asks I'm going to tell them to suck it. I'm really fed up. My son had some speech delay which he's now catching up a lot and socialises well with others. People seem to tip toe around the subject when asking me if he might and then give me funny looks when I explain how it's unlikely. I've spoken to doctors and his pediatritians about it and they don't believe he has it. I feel some people compare some of his habits to his father. Like since he was a baby and doing normal baby things they would be like oh he might have autism like his father but he always grew out of these things and every other baby was also doing them. I love my son and he's who he is so it wouldn't bother me if he did have Asbergers. My issue is that he will always be compared to his father through his whole life and people will always be on the cusp of " oh I think he is" " oh no he's not". Why can't he be his own person? Why can't he just live and not be diagnosed by everyone in his life when that's his doctors job to make the call and to send him to get tested. I see it in every day life that people always think something is wrong with someone else with no real hard thought on why they think so. Why do we spend our days worrying about others health? What should I do? I don't know how to get through other people's asumptioms and how to help my son. I always felt like the teachers treated me like I was stupid even after testing came back that I was average learning. How do I help my son through these years of people's asumptioms?
2 Replies
I know this feeling. My two boys are on the spectrum, they're father is undiagnosed but shows all the traits. My daughter has a speech delay but we're working on it and her learned behaviours from her brothers. Everyone now wants me to get her in to see the paediatrician to see if she is on the spectrum aswell. It's just a speech delay I'm sure of it. She was doing everything normal babies did when she was little. I don't want her compared to her brothers and father but it's like a loosing battle. I don't think they realise how insensitive it actually is to keep asking or assuming she has it to.
Children learn behaviours off their parents so children with parent/s that have autism will at times display theses behaviours. I would just respond with "his paediatrician doesn't think so" or "and. . ." call them on it. With teachers or ANY professional person I would get in early see teachers at begging of term and let them know you are aware of his behaviours and you have seen a specialist. If they continue to comment tell them it isn't in there range of practice and to back off. You are the NUMBER ONE EXPERT on your child - my doctor tells me this.