I am very torn. Im not sure how to put my feelings into words nor how to explain the circumstances so that you get a good enough story background to help with my uncertainty.
I love my partner, and thinking about life without him brings me to tears. However I think we have hit a place we can't come out of. He is an addict (weed), after two and a bit years of "im going to quit" and nothing changes. He went through a lot in his childhood which I believe is reason for his dependency and the problems we have. I also believe he suffers depression (but I am no doctor) We are constantly arguing about something. Money is extremely tight, to the point we pay bills, necessities and we have zero left. He spends all his spare time in the shed, coming in only to eat and go to bed. It hasnt always been this way, and I look back at these times in the hopes we will be there again. He talks to me like shit, snaps over nothing. Im constantly searching for reassurance that im good enough for him, as he just doesnt show it. Im really struggling to keep my head above water. I honestly think to myself how much easier life would be without him, i wouldnt have someone to expect more of, financially id be more stable. I have no where to live though as currently we rent our house from his nan. There is good about him, when we are good, things are great. We are so similar and comfortable, laugh with each other. I do believe he is my "one". But this is where i struggle, the good stuff has been absent for quite some time. He is consumed in his addiction at the moment. I dont want to give up too soon, but i know ive given him far too many chances. I dont have anyone to talk this out with, sometimes i feel im being ridiculous.
Im so incredibly lost, i feel i need to leave this man and never look back. But I am so heartbroken by that.
Im in a bad place. Im an emotional wreck. If you have read this far thank you. If you have nothing supportive to say please continue scrolling.
From one lost mumma❤
How do you find it in you to leave the man you love?
How do you find it in you to leave the man you love?
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Self Care
2 Replies
He doesn't want to give up the weed. Staying is telling him it's ok to keep smoking it. He is treating you like shit, that's not what you do to the person you love.
You really need to leave, of course it hurts, but staying in this situation will hurt more in the long run.
You need to love yourself and your kids more than him.
Talk to Centrelink and find out if you are entitled to a bond loan in your state? If you have to and he will agree, fill out the Centrelink firms for separated living under the same roof forms so you can get some savings aside.
If you have a friend that can put you up while you look for somewhere to live, do that.
I am going through the same thing. I don't want to put my name to this as I don't want snoopy family members knowing my business but if the imperfect mum team can some how give you my details please feel free to message me maybe we could support each other. Good luck sweet heart I know it's not easy. If you feel you have to leave then there will be a way just know you have been strong enough to stay you have the strength to leave