Hi Ladies! I need help growing balls!
Im due for my first bub soon and my MIL is a very "know it all" type of person, she dribbles lies and expects everyone to believe her (gossip, babies, everything really) I can tell she is going to be very opinionated when bub comes and it makes me feel stressed out. Why can I never say anything I feel? Everytime she lies or I know for a fact she is wrong I want to speak up but I don't. I would just like to know if anyone thinks this will change once the baby is here? Will I be able to speak my mind at least a little bit?
HELP ME GROW BALLS LADIES!
HELP ME GROW BALLS LADIES!
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Behaviour, Pregnancy
4 Replies
When you have your first everyone wants to give you advice tips you name it. Listen to everyone use the useful tips and dont worry about the rest.
Firstly, get your husband on your side!
Remember, this is his mother so be careful not to insult her or appear as though you're attacking her.
Sit your husband down and politely explain that some of the things she's been saying make you feel a little overwhelmed. Tell him that you appreciate her advice, but you feel as though she's trying to push you into doing what she thinks is right. And ask your husband on what he thinks you should do.
Secondly, perfect the smile and nod when she's babbling on.
And respond to all unwanted advice with 'thanks, I'll keep that in mind but hubby and I are planning ___' instead.
(Personally, I found just saying thanks made my MIL think I'd do it and she continuously nagged me or tried to cause problems when she found out I was doing it my way. Telling her that I wasn't going to do what she suggested annoyed her, but it meant a lot less nagging!)
And do not let anyone walk all over you. Be polite and respectful, but stand up for yourself when they get to be too much.
This is yours and your husbands bundle of joy. You'll need to learn and make mistakes on your own.
Sure, take all the advice and help you want, but don't let them pressure you into changing a parenting style that works for you!
When people are like that around me I respond with 'I'll think about it' then I continue to do what I want to do.
They feel heard, I haven't had an argument and I haven't committed to anything.
Say "thanks so much for your opinion" and keep doing what you are doing. People tend to look a bit shocked that you think their opinion is not fact!