Back story
I got pregnant within a few weeks of meeting my vurrent partner. I'm 19 and he is 20. We are great when we're on good terms, but horrible when we're not
Our fights used to be heated and nearly every week to every day and have started counselling to help. It has to an extent, but we also found out how different the other person is as we haven't gotten to know each other well. Our fights are now nasty and mean but not heated.
My question is, if we take a break from our relationship, start over and live separately, could we ever be together again? Could we repair ourselves and our relationship apart? Has anyone done this with success?
4 Replies
For some people it can be a great thing. I would say though if you do it set clear boundaries will you be seeing other people or not? Will you spend x amount of time together. Will you evaluate your relationship in a certain number of months. That type of thing in my case it has not worked I think because we did not set clear boundaries if we did and both followed them I believe our relationship would have been better for the break.
Yes, definitely set rules in place. If you are living apart the same rules apply as if you are living together.
I think it's a great idea. You're demanding respect and that you get on nicely or not at all. It's much better than living together, having a baby in this toxic environment and just getting used to being miserable all the time.
I hope it works and counselling helps you fight healthily. But if, like me, your partner just can't do it, at least you won't compromise your self and the environment you raise your children in and youre in a better position to go for healthy instead of finding it too hard to change.
As someone who fell pregnant weeks into a relationship, I know just how stressful it can be so I'm not surprised you're arguing so much.
It changes the dynamics of your relationship and it's basically as though you skip the honeymoon period.
You never really get the chance to 'take things slow' in a relationship when you fall pregnant so soon. Living seperately gives you the chance to get to know each other and build up the relationship.
So I think its a great idea!
But as others have stated, make sure 'boundaries' are put in place.
Have a conversation about what your relationship is (still together but living seperately, or actually taking a break - and if that means seeing other people), if you'll continue to be intimate, how often you'll see each other, how often he sees the baby, etc.
Have a good talk and decide whats best for you both.