Hello sisters,
Please don't hate on me to much, I know it's selfish and would love help to get over it!
I have 4 beautiful little boys, they are my heart and sole, the true reason I breathe... but I long to be a mumma of a little girl!! I feel incomplete with knowing I will never have a daughter. Hubby and I decided that number 4 would be our last and we tried a variety of methods to gender sway!! When I found out he was a boy, it almost broke my heart of course I got over that and am so in love with him he is just Devine and the sweetest, chilled out and calm baby I have even seen!!
I need to get over it, is it normal? Do I need help?
I feel horrible and selfish, i feel like a terrible mum because my babies should be enough.
My best friend cannot have any more children after her first and I know there are a lot of women who would kill to have just 1 baby and here I am some days feeling sorry for myself!! It makes me feel so guilty..
Has anyone ever felt like this? How do I overcome feeling this way? It's not always I'm not depressed about it, but when I think about never having a daughter it makes me sad!!
Thanks ladies :)
5 Replies
I think the best way to think of it is, one day, you may be blessed enough to have 4 amazing daughters in law :)
Or granddaughters ❤️
Honestly I think you need to work out why you wanted a girl. What is it about having a girl you imagined? Would those dreams and imaginings have met up with reality?
Also how can you get those dreams met through sons?
I'm incredibly close to my son, we do a lot of stereo typical mother/daughter stuff together. We go out for lunch, chat, go to the hair dressers together. He is 21 now. He'll keep me company sometimes when I get my nails done. It's the new age and we don't have to force our kids into gender stereo-types, and we shouldn't. You can have girls who have no interest in dresses and princesses etc. My niece wants to be a pirate when she 'grows up' she's 4.
When I was a teenager, some of my fondest memories was working on cars with my Dad.
My point is often it's what we think a gender will be like that makes us grieve but often the reality is nothing like what we inagined.
If you want your boys to bond with you over certain things, then start exposing them to those things.
I don't really have any answers but I have 4 boys also. I always thought I'd only have two and now I have 4 I'm very lucky!
I wanted a girl for my 4th but got a boy, I don't understand why I'm not meant to have a girl (or hubby! He would love one) but it's just how life works out. I just enjoy my friends little girls and I think I'd rather 4 boys than 4 girls lol. I love newborns and babies rather than big kids so I think that's part of the gender thing. Maybe get a girl puppy? Try not to think about it, as mentioned above, daughter in laws, & hopefully girl grand babies one day!
I'm a mum of only girls, and although my heart aches to have a boy the reality is I could have 10 more and never have a boy, so it took a bit to get over it, to grieve the wants of my heart, but at the end of the day I can't miss something I have never had, I have healthy happy girls and that means so much to me and one day I hope to have some great son in laws and grandsons but if it's not meant to be it's not meant to be thankfully I have a lot of nephews I can enjoy for boy time, Us mums of only one gender all go through it I think and it's ok to feel sad and want that little one who is so different and new to what we already know but in reality we can only play the hand we are dealt and it's better to play it well than bet on what could have been