Hi IM I'm after some help how to deal with friendship, I'm a single mum of 3 and one with special needs, I lent a friend money who said she will pay me back weekly. not even half is paid back. She has a husband who is working but she pays but then when she doesn't pay she avoids seeing me and says she will catch up next week. Then doesn't back pay, It is getting stressful as my kids father doesn't help any extra than child support says I am relying on having my money. she recently lost her farther and I'm really needing my money to help with cost as it's hard doing it alone. How can I say I need my money back without hurting or breaking the friendship when she seems to decide weather she pays me or not???
6 Replies
I have a rule I don't lend money if I can't afford to not get it back.
Say 'things are really tight for me, I really can't afford for you to skip payments, Im really sorry, I don't want this to come between us'.
There's an unspoken rule, it's about never lending friends money you can't afford to not see again. And I never lend my mates money no matter how much I love or trust them because I'd hate to loose a friendship over money. That being said you need to tell her things are right for you and you need your money back so that you can pay your bills. Tell her you really value her friendship and you hope she values yours enough to pay what she is supposed to eac week.
Yeah I read the title and said the answer, friends and money ; NO.
Let the money go or let the friendship go whichever is more important and learn not to do it again. Never lend something you can't afford to get back.
She doesn't sound like a very good friend for borrowing money from you in the first place. I would just txt her every few days letting her know you've fallen behind because of the few payments she's missed and you need it back asap. I'm sure she'd feel guilty and if she doesn't she probably never really intended to pay it back in the first place. Also keep records/ screenshots of txt conversations because if it does come to the point of taking her to court you can use them as acknowledgement on her pet that it was a loan.
I know how you feel, I lent my bestfriend $3000 and it took her 3 years to get it back to me, it seriously pissed me off, that I did it out of good will and felt like I was completely taken advantage of , that her needs were more important than mine.
It caused a bit of a barrier in our friendship but now that its paid back, we are starting to get back to the way we used to be.
Nothing worse then feeling like the bad guy by trying to ask for it, when really you were the nice one in the first place and shouldn't have to get to the point where you need to ask.
I think you just need to approach her honestly and say look im struggling and I really need it back ASAP. You don't need to be made to feel guilty about what is rightfully yours.
lesson out of this that I learnt : NEVER LEND MONEY!
Yes I have defiantly learnt my lesson, and yes you think you r helping a true friend but when it's tough for them, they must think there needs are more important than mine and there is two of them. Even though I'm on my own I've noticed ppl just take advantage of you even family has who I don't speak to anymore so I now have trust issues, it makes it hard for me.