About 5 years ago I was looking at photos of our kids on my boyfriend's phone when I came across a photo of my partner wearing pink ladies gstrings. I asked him about it to which he said he was going to send it to me to spice things up in the bedroom. I told him I didn't like it & was a turnoff for me. A man wearing womens underwear does nothing for me.
Fast forward to yesterday I find a pair of ladies gstrings in the laundry basket. I asked him about it & he said yes they're his & it's a vanity thing. He doesn't think it's a big deal. & the fact that I don't like it & get turned off makes me a prude. He also says that it's really none of my business. What does everyone think about this? Surely I have the right to not like it.
Also I'm concerned about the kids. It's only a matter of time before they find out.
Thanks
11 Replies
I have an ex who had loved to wear panty hose and stockings. It was not a big deal, at all. It's just clothing that feels nice.
How do you think your children will find out??
In my house when I'm in a relationship my boyfriends don't get dressed and undressed in front of my children or walk around in there underwear. The kids know they are not to walk in my room without knocking and I don't let the kids in bed with me when a boyfriend stays over.
That's to protect my kids from predators and my bf at the time if being accused of predators.
These are basic safety rules.
So the underwear I have no issue with at all, it's just underwear, plus he is comfortable enough to share his fetish with you.
But if it makes you feel uncomfortable perhaps he isn't the right guy for you.
You'd be surprised how many guys like the feel of ladies knickers. Lets face it, we get the lovely soft silky fabrics and they get plain old cotton.
I don't think you not liking it makes you a prude, it would be a turn off for me too. You definitely have the right to not like it.... However, he is right in one respect in that it's really none of your business. It's his body, his clothes and he can surely decide what underwear he prefers to wear. If this was a man telling a woman what underwear she couldn't wear we'd probably be outraged. don't try to change somebody from who they are so if it's a deal breaker then end it or learn to ignore it.
Would it really be the end of the world if the kids found out? The world is filled with people who are slightly different or significantly different from ourselves who make choices that we wouldn't personally make. Learning to accept and tolerate differences is a great life lesson for our children.
I'd be completely grossed out, too. I don't deal well with any kind of fetish. Find it all completely out of my comfort zone. So i definitely won't sit here and write that it's not big deal.....because it would be to me, too. Perhaps, sexually at least, you're not suited. Doubt the kids would find out, though?
Honestly I wouldn't like it either. Sure he's not doing it for you, it's his thing, so you can either decide to ignore it or decide it turns you off him too much.
You could look at it as nobody's perfect, and this is harmless, it doesn't go anywhere else, and its his private thing that you know about, making your relationship stronger.
I also agree there's nothing wrong with the kids finding this out although they probably wouldn't anyway.
I would find it odd if my husband wore womens underwear as i know my husband would think im crazy if i asked him to wear my underwear. maybe he has gender confusion that he hasnt admitted to himself yet
UPDATE: Wow. Some of the comments are ridiculous. Such bitchiness. & I love how most people assume we argued over this. It wasn't an argument it was just a conversation. My issues were my right to not like it, him calling me a prude because of it & how it was no big deal to him. Meaning if it's no big deal why didn't he tell me? He knows what sort of undies I wear. & I thought I knew what he wore. NO they are not the same pair. NO he isn't cheating. NO I'm not going to use it for blackmail. How will the kids find out? I found out. I wasn't snooping or anything just came across it. For example, he had a photo on his phone. The kids have always got our phones playing games, taking photos, youtubing etc. why don't I want the kids to know? Ummm kids have got big mouths. Think about it.
Either get over it or leave. He can wear whatever he wants. Personally I wouldnt destroy my marriage over some undies. You have the right not to like it but you also havr the right to keep that lovely opinion to yourself. Obviously he knowd you dont like it so doesnt parade it in front of you whichc is why he didnt tell you. Keep your negativity to yourself or leave because he doesnt deserve to be shamed for some undies
I think you had posted this to get it off your chest and have everyone agree to make you feel better about not accepting your husband's fetish. My husband likes bondage, I don't, I don't make him feel bad or weird about it. He can watch it and get off on it but I don't want to be involved.I didn't find the answers bitchy as such but 90% of them disagreed with you and now you aren't happy with the responses. Move on mumma, let him do what makes him happy. It's not harming anyone and he certainly isn't forcing you to do anything you don't want to. Mountain out of a molehill.
It's his body. His choice. It is no different then you wearing boxers because it's comfy and you like it. No your not a prude. But you do need to open your mind up a little. It each to their own really. I know someone who only wears gstrings because it stops the chafe and he feels better in them.