Hi there,
just wanting to know if anyone has been through this and what the outcome was...
I'm pregnant with baby number 3 (different father to first two kids) and we have recently split up. I have a temporary DVO in place against him due to emotional abuse... my two current children who are not his, are also listed on the DVO.
when baby arrives he is allowed to see baby at my discretion but not allowed to commit any domestic violence in front of the baby or contact me unless it's for our baby or mediation... The next court date isn't until June as the magistrate wanted me to have the baby and recover from the birth before having to go back to court.
Thing is he is threatening 50/50 custody of an infant and I don't feel comfortable with that as I will be breastfeeding.
I will not stop his from seeing the baby but I will not allow him to come and go as he pleases as I have 2 other children that thrive on routine and i don't want him seeing my two other children, so it's going to have to be set times and days.
he thinks he can start over night visitation as soon as he likes, but from what I've read it's not in the best interest of the child to commence overnights until about 2-3 years old.
he is the type to take me to court unfortunately so was just wondering if anyone has been through this and what the outcome was??
how long did your court ordeal take (from start of mediation to court orders in place)?
how much did it cost you or him? (I will be able to get legal aid, he will not) so just wanting to know roughly how much it would cost him.
and what was the outcome in regards to access and at what age??
he lives nearly an hour away and his working hours during the week vary so not sure if that would come into it at all...
thanks!
2 Replies
Ok, don't panic. A portion of these blokes threaten a lot but don't bother with court when the lawyer informs them of the facts.
If you have a DVO you have a good case for getting supervised visitation and that visitation should be done in a family contact centre. That way there no reason for you to have contact with him or see him, your kids will be protected and he won't be left alone with the baby.
I've recently been informed by a lawyer that 50/50 is only granted if both parents are able to co parent and communicate efficiently.
A court almost never tells a mother to stop breastfeeding her newborn, so he'll should only get supervised visits with you present, or unsupervised for short periods of time (an hour or two)
They might suggest you express or mix feed, though.
The 'recommended' age might be 3 years old for overnight stays, but I've seen them granted for 1 year olds.
It'll just be for roughly 24 hours at first, but it'll increase to the full weekend (example - Friday at 4:30 pm - Sunday at 7pm) after a few months if the overnight stays go well.
A DVO doesn't really matter when it comes to family court unless the child is at risk of harm (or if you're at risk of being harmed in front of your child). They'll make whatever orders they see fit based on the best interest of the child.
Except, as the above said, you can arrange for a contact center for pick ups/drops. And he won't be able to contact you unless it is to do with the child or visitation.
Supervised visits don't usually last too long, either. Usually a month or two (but that might be longer with a newborn). Unless he proves to be an unfit father, be prepared for him to have unsupervised time, even if it's only for an hour or two.
With younger children, visits are usual short but frequent (example - 4:30-6:30 Monday and Thursday, and 4:30-7:30 on Friday).
But might be shorter (an hour or two only) for a newborn.
The entire court process can take years, especially if there is any drama or breaches.
And he can always go back to ask for more time whenever he pleases.
But it costs. A lot.
He'll be looking anywhere between 15 - 30k.
But he can get legal aid as well, if he proves he is struggling financially.
But this all depends on his lawyer, your lawyer, and the judge.
So please - seek legal advice.
A lot of lawyers offer free consultations.
Arrange to go in and see someone who'll be able to tell you what's your best option, because each case is different.