Hi there
I'm in my 40th week of pregnancy with my first baby. I have noticed in the last weeks of pregnancy my partner has been completely avoiding intimacy. I finally confronted him last night and He says it's "weird" with the baby there. Up until this point we would have sex just as much as when I wasn't pregnant. It hasn't been all that difficult or uncomfortable because I haven't even gotten very big. Most people cant believe I'm 40 weeks pregnant. Anyway He keeps bringing up exercise and making me fit after birth and it just makes me feel so unnattractive. I wish he could experience the hurt I feel when he rejects me at such a vulnerable time. I love him and find him attractive every day and want to feel close again. It makes me think If he can't handle being intimate with me now how is it going to be when I am in labour and he sees everything? I have no doubt he will be a great father but ATM he's being a real lousy partner. Is it normal for men to feel this way and Have people been through this before and their sex life gone back to normal after pregnancy?
No intimacy in pregnancy
No intimacy in pregnancy
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Pregnancy
8 Replies
I haven't experienced these views from my partner. When I was pregnant even towards the very end we were having sex everyday. It was me that thought it was becoming weird, the bigger I got the bigger my belly was between us and it was becoming so obvious there was a baby in there! I felt awkward where she started kicking and moving around heaps! And the thought she could hear everything.... :/ So what i'm trying to say is he might just feel weird about it especially since it's over due i'm assuming? I think some men are turned off at the thought that their child is in your belly. It's not unusual. I wouldn't appreciate the reminders I need to exercise after birth though! Geez...That part sounds a bit harsh. Tell him you have more important things to worry about then been bikini ready after baby. And will try and be active and healthy afterwards.
My husband was exactly the same with both pregnancies after about the 30 week mark he just felt to weird. I think it was the fact that u could see and feel the baby moving that it just freaked him out. As soon as I had the babies he was keen as mustard to have sex as soon as I was ready. I wouldn't worry I'm sure it will be fine and that is is nothing to do with u.
Mine was the same but we didn't have sex from 22 ish weeks and said similar things honestly though once she came it was no big deal although it was at time in a second pregnancy I wouldn't even worry about it and the birth we both didn't want him at the business end but you know what he wasn't great at the start but the last 8 hour she was my hero and even delivered our girl I learned I have to be patient and let him do what he wants without forcing my needs on him just as I'd expect the same , we have far less sex even now with a one year old but funny enough I'm not as worried as I use to be over dry spells he and I are hopefully gonna be together for 60 years so what's a free dry spells over a few months? Try to let it go and not overthink stuff just let it e and good luck with bubs xxx
hi Hun yes it normal for some men to be like that I'm 32 weeks it my 4th baby n my hubby's first he weird out about the hole intimacy with me. but after the baby men do get the drive back.
My hubby did the same with both pregnancy's I don't think it's him not finding you attractive he is probably scared of bringing on labour or harming the baby. Don't stress. It's easy to take out our raging hormones on our partners. Relax you will get back there soon enough :)
To me this is a little strange. Having sex pretty much broke my waters! I think you need to tell him how you are feeling. Bringing up getting fit after the baby is ridiculous and it takes a lot of work those first 3 months especially to nurture a little one exercise takes a back seat!
My husband was not interested in sex from when I started being obviously pregnant and not just "putting on weight". No matter how much we talked about it, he was just not comfortable with it. Not because he found me unattractive, it just freaked him out. After the birth, it was even worse. Actually seeing the birth and our son coming out just turned him off for a long long time. It was at least a year after the birth of our son before our sex life finally went back to normal. It was a very difficult time for our marriage unfortunately, but we are going strong now. I know a few other men who have had similar reactions unfortunately. Just make sure you communicate to try to stop to much frustration and resentment. As for talking about getting fit after the pregnancy, he probably thinks it's what you want to hear - do you talk about the weight gain, that you feel fat etc? He may think he is being helpful and supportive when he is really being an ass. Tell him to pull his head in.
My husband is exactly the same, very little intimacy when I'm pregnant. I'm currently 39 weeks with my second & I'm wanting to have sex to initiate labour but he is too weirded out with the baby. We probably had sex about 5 times when I was pregnant with my first and then it wasn't until 8 months after his birth that I was even able to contemplate having sex but after that our sex life returned to normal and this pregnancy I think we have had sex maybe 4 times. I know he still loves me and finds me attractive as he calls me beautiful every day but some men just get freaked out by the thought of the baby up there, a girlfriend from mothers group told me today that her husband is exactly the same.