Kind of just a vent but then again, would be nice to know how you "appreciate" your baby body?
And don't take this like I'm attacking anyone about their body or anything, it's honestly me hating myself and this stupid, disgusting body and 90% of pregnancy. And if you're going to comment, don't comment something negative because I already hate myself for feeling this way when I know some women can't even get pregnant and this is a blessing.
I'm sick of the way I feel. Some days I won't care, and other days I will.
The other week I was putting on a bikini and my partner pointed out and asked if I had noticed the large amount of spider veins on the outside of my thighs (not in a mean way). I was disgusted. They came from nowhere. It was fucking disgusting (sorry for the language but I'm utterly disgusted in my body)! I read up on it and it said they go away after giving birth so I was kind of ok with it. I went to the midwife later that week and turns out they're STRETCH MARKS! So now I'm stuck with them! I'm lucky enough not to have them on my stomach but at the same time they're purple, there in view for when I'm out in the pool or at home with my partner and disgusting! I hate them! I hate that my thighs now touch which may seem so stupid but I've never had that before! I've always had a slim body. I've got these fat back rolls, fat face with a double chin starting and my skin in disgustingly pale! I'm used to being pale but I look washed out!
I have gained 15kg so far. I've never weighed so much in my life and last time I felt fat, I lost a load of weight and went down 2 dress sizes! I no longer fit ANY of my clothes except for baggy t-shirts, stretchy skirts and some dresses! Some of my jox don't even fit me anymore! I can't wear jeans or shorts anymore! I hate it!
I want to just be 40 weeks and in labour already! I want this belly gone, I want this weight gone! And I was so glad to hear that it'll drop off when I breast feed and after I have the baby but I found out the other day that every woman is different! Some lose theirs in weeks and some lose theirs in YEARS!
And my nipples! For F*** SAKE! They're tender as heck, so enlarged it's disgusting and my boobs sag SO much that they fall onto my gut! I feel like an old Grandma! I'll be turning 21 soon and I don't even want to do anything for it. I don't feel it's important. I'll just be pregnant anyway and I don't want to indulge in any food that will make me get fatter (I'm already at gym and on a diet trying to stay in shape). I feel like my importance is out the window and it's all about bub now and I don't mean to sound selfish, I love her and I am blessed to be having her but people always ask about bub and my partner, never about me which is why I have to vent anonymously on the net...
I'm sick of needing to pee every 5 minutes!
Most recently is the pain around my back/kidneys! It was the worst! I read that it's just from somethings pushing on something that connects my bladder to my kidney so I can't even do anything about it! I don't want to take pain killers as I already take enough for my constant headaches!
I have the most supportive partner and he tells me every day that I'm beautiful but I'm not feeling it... I don't wear makeup anymore (used to wear it every day and loved putting it on and doing myself up nice) because it breaks me out more than I already do without it. I barely shave and I haven't gotten my hair done (half because it's expensive and I'm on Centrelink because no one will hire me and the other half is because I bleach my hair).
I don't feel like me anymore...
I never want to be pregnant again even if I haven't drawn the shortest straw of it. It's been the worst experience of my life.
The only good thing I can take away from it is the cute kicks, hearing bub's heartbeat, watching bub grow in me and having the most supportive partner.
3 Replies
Ok theirs some huge issues here. Your dieting thats a really bad idea choosing the healthier option sure but dieting while pregnant isnt a good thing for your baby. Your body is changing and preparing for the birth. Your nipples are sore because their getting ready for breast feeding. You boobs are "sagging" because their heavier and bigger getting ready to store your milk. Try wearing a maternity bra they do wonders and suport and hold everything in. Stretch marks are a fact of life i know ppl that are a size 10 and have stretch marks and have never been pregnant. Try bio oils on your skin to help it become elastic and prevent the marks. Putting on weight while pregnant can be alot of things it may not be fat and alot of times its not what your eating and more your hormones, bloating and water from swelling. Being pregnant in this heat is hard cos the heat makes you swell all the much faster. Loosing weight while breast feeding. Yes you can drop weight but keep in mind you also need to have a high intake of food to produce the milk to feed your baby your body wont produce milk if you have a low in take. Your weight will also get higher has baby grows and gets heavier, the average weight of a baby when its born is between 3 and 4 kilos. You need to start loving your new body. Yes things get alittle more stretched, sagy and sore. You have a little baby inside you growing and that baby needs all the norishing and nutrients to grow and be healthy. Hang in their.
Welcome to pregnancy. Unless you are blessed with the genes of a super model this is what happens. Everyone gets stretch marks somewhere and as you age, most of these changes were going to come anyway.
I suppose give your age this pregnancy was unplanned so all the changes have come as a shock. I was 21 when I had my son too. Although luckily I was pretty prepared as my mum and been pretty open about what changed happened to her body.
I was thin before getting pregnant and I am smaller now then what I was before bub! And the back oh my god my back got so fat I had never experienced that before lol! Maybe I was lucky I dontnno but I did walk out feeling pretty good. I struggled with putting on weigh would constantly weigh myself but your growing another human. I ate healthy but never dieted I am concerned you dieting because you need to eat to have a healthy bub! Just don't go overboaed and uour the im pregnant excuse. I think it was only 500 extra calories you need per day! I bought some cheap clothes from Kmart and would put them on each week when I started a new week would put make up on and take a photo! Everyone would comment how nice j looked and that made me feel better (I worked out good angles and if I put my hand on my hip it took away most of my fat back lol!)
But I would talk to the midwives like many said babies change everything and it could be much worse once you have a baby because it will NEVER be about you for a long while :/