hello sisterhood!
I am separated (defacto relationship) and we have a lot of joint debt. we originally had a plan to pay it off that we both agreed upon and that we could both afford. this involved me paying roughly 1/3 of the debt. we have a child together and I have children from a previous relationship. he earns over $100k a year and I am currently on the single parent pension (temporarily until I finish some study so I can go back to work when our child starts kindy which was always our plan anyway). please do not judge me on this! I had always had a full time job up until we had our child together and I am choosing to spend time now while he is young to advance my skills so I can have a better job in 2 years time. and even if I were to go back to my old job full time right now I would be no better off financially and I know that studying now is the best thing for my families future.
he is now threatening to take my car away and insisting I pay 50% of our joint debt. we traded my car in to get this one and it is on a secured loan. so even if we were to sell it there will be no funds for me to get a replacement car.
I have set up mediation so we can draft a formal financial agreement and I have also offered to pay more which means ill be paying 45% of the repayments even though this only leaves me with $100 a week to buy food.
I have sought legal advice and I know that things like this are not necessarily a 50/50 split. that other factors are used when making a decision. factors such as children, earning capacity now and in the future and input into the relationship etc.
My question is does anyone know where I can access support for representation for this to go to court. I know we will not be able to agree to anything through mediation. I am getting almost daily harassing and threatening messages and I want this sorted asap. I have spoken to legal aide and they will assist with mediation but cannot represent me if it were to go to court. I already feel like I am being bullied into paying more than I can afford. I am currently paying half my taxable income towards our joint debt and he is paying less than 10% of his.
Thanks ladies!
6 Replies
add to above please - I am located in QLD
Stick with the 33% you originally agreed. Get LA to help you write down how this original agreement was decided on as part of their role in mediation. Don't be bullied. You need to make a case and stick to it. You are right, there are lots of factors the court will consider. I'm not sure about representation in court but LA might have a list of lawyers who do some pro bono work they can refer you to. Good luck. Stay strong.
thankyou! the only reason I offered to pay more is because he threatened to stop paying the car repayments and therefor it would be repossessed. and I don't have access to another car. with three children (one with special needs) I simply cant be without a car.
Im probably going to get my head bitten off for this but I think he has every right to ask you to pay 50%. Youre the one that has the car right? So technically he shouldnt have to pay anything for it but he is offering to pay 50% which is nice. Its not his fault that he works full time and you get to be a stay at home mum.. why should he have to pay for more because of your own choices?
It actually is his fault. I gave up my full time job because he wanted me to stay at home with our child. The debt is $40k more than what is owed on the car because of his spending habits when we were together. I am already paying as much as I can afford without going bankrupt.
Take all of those threatening messages to the local police station and speak to one of the domestic violence team - they will be able to get them off your phone so they can be used a) in mediation to show that you are being harassed and b) for a no contact order. He can be charged with using a carrier service to harass and/or intimidate which is a very serious offense.
Speak to your legal aide and give them a REAL figure you can afford to pay. 45% is obviously too much for you. They are there to advocate FOR YOU. They should also be able to give you information regarding solicitors/barristers for court and how to find the relevant support. IT'S THERE JOB TO HELP YOU WITH THIS. Don't let them be lazy or dismiss you.
As for the car, if you originally organised it would be yours, and registration etc is in your name, he has BUCKLIES of taking it from you. He is trying to intimidate you. Talk to your LA. They should be telling you to go to the police about harassment. Tell them to pull up their socks and threatening to go to their manager/ over seeing society/ ombusman if they keep being so lazy!