Dear sisterhood,
Im seeking what other partners feel is " normal " behaviour when it comes to male masturbation. I honestly believe it is healthy for men and women to masturbate , however im a little sensitive to my partners masturbation habits and have addressed his behaviour to which he compares to other men who do it 20 times a day.
Id prefer if he didnt do it but he does and i feel its healthy but not every day, regularly yes but not every day or every other day.
This has been a big issue for a long time and im close to asking him to leave.
He isnt at all discrete, im sure he does it at least every day, being together for 8 years you kearn each others habits and im sick of him sneaking off to the toilet, bath room, shower and catching him in the act.
He constantly plays with his winky will watching tv etc, i cant pick up his phone etc without it being coveree with pornographic material.
I have had just had a baby i feel no different about his behaviour any more then i did before, however i personally am not interested in him, totally turned off by his behaviour plus previous infidently and now after a difficult pregnancy learning to love my new size 14/16 body instead of size 8.
Id just like to hear how other partners would feel, do feel about their partner and porn and how often is normal.
I know my partner does it but id rather not no and it hurts his so self centred he cant learn to have wome respect for one and two a little discrepancy.
12 Replies
Honestly, as a single woman I choose not to get involved with men who are daily users of porn. If that means I never get married or in another relationship I'm ok with that. I think that occasional porn use isn't a problem but once it moves into a daily need it starts to really effect the relationship especially if choosing porn over sex with partner.
I find masturbation is different. I will masturbate multiple times a day sometimes, but that can decrease when I'm in a relationship.
What concerns me about your relationship is if this disgusts you now, and it disgusted you before, why have you been with him 8 years? If something disgusts me about someone but sorry we don't move past the dating stage, things are over. People might think I'm harsh but spending the rest of my life with someone who does something that repulses me is Not and option.
Personally it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. You don't need permission from us to feel the way you do, YOU need to be happy. Does this relationship make you happy?
Id like to say in the big scheme of things , of a house, children, shared affairs , i assume this woman picks and chooses her battles at the given time. If everytime a woman left her family when she was angry, hurt , disgusted, every woman in the world would be single. Nothing is perfect, part of a relationship is trying to work together and grow.
What I'm saying is this was I assume this was happening before kids and marriage came into the picture. And yes id rather be single than live with someone who has a habit that disgusts me! Sorry life is too short. If that means I'm single for the rest of my life, I don't care because I don't need a relationship to validate me, make me happy. If I don't compliment a guy and he doesn't compliment me then so be it.
Honestly I think, from my experience, it's the way they do it. And you're sensing he's too much and not private enough with it. Ive been there, it was constantly out and catching him to the pont of just knowing exactly what he was doing. It's hard to explain compared to 'normal' but if you're not comfortable there's something wrong with it and what I learned is to listen to yourself. Sometimes it's very hard to pinpoint exactly what it is, but what youre saying is you don't like it and you don't want to live with it. Listen to yourself.
Your partner is a porn addict. Their are heaps and heaps of site that explain this in depth. They would rather watch porn and mastubate instead of having a relationship. It can sometimes get to the point where they would prefer the porn over sex and sometimes can even struggle climaxing during sex as they have become so desensitised to porn. This is what happened to my husband. It got to the point i threatened to leave for him to get some help. He has to be open and will to change and willing to understand whats going on. If his not willing to understand it then you can complain till your blue in the face but he will just become better are hiding it.
Here is a link that may help http://www.psychguides.com/guides/is-my-husband-addicted-to-porn/
Not sexy at all. I would only do it around a partner if they were involved. Otherwise I think it's rude and makes the other person feel no enough. Some people are constantly horny. Like I also do it every day when I'm not on my reds and alone but I don't have a partner. I have had to finish myself if they couldn't or wouldn't but always later in private. Some people do it every hour. Many woman do as their very sensitive and always horny. I would also leave if he couldn't respect me.
My SO masturbates daily when were not together. We only get a few days a week together so it's quite understandable. However when were together he doesn't (I have a high sex drive so it's not like he needs to masturbate when I am around) but in saying that I wouldn't have a problem with it if I wasn't putting out regularly when we are together. I'd get upset if he was looking at Porn all the time but he doesn't he looks through sexy photos that I've sent him too. You do need to set boundaries though. Are there locks on doors to the rooms he uses? He knows you don't want the kids seeing. If you really didn't like the masturbation habits he has, how long has it taken you to voice your concerns? Are there underlying issues?
Normal behaviour with Porn and partners is to keep it discreet. I know my husband looks at porn now and then because I found his magazines one day cleaning. But if I didn't find them I wouldn't of known. Obviously there are nights when I m not in the mood and he does disappear for a bit and thats understandable.
If you feel he has a problem then you need to discuss it with him before it really gets out of control.
I used to go out with a guy that was I think in my opinion addicted to sex/masturbation.
He would masturbate a couple of times a day and that doesn't include having sex a couple of times a day as well.
He was constantly unfaithful to me, not saying your husband is but im saying maybe he has an addiction and a need.
Better he gets his own rocks off than go elsewhere I reckon.
reading all the comments on FB makes me think maybe I'm the only 'crazy' one out there. I definitely don't like my husband looking at any sort of porn sites in my opinion they are extremely dirty. I just find the whole thing disgusting and not attractive at all. Good luck honey
I woke up 1 night to find my now ex hubby laying in bed next to me masturbating. I used to find single socks down his side of the bed on the floor that he was using when he whacked off. I can understand exactly where the poster is coming from in regards to lack of discretion etc... As for the comments ppl make I will NEVER post a question on here again after the way I was attacked and made out to be the biggest c%%t on the face of the earth when I was at breaking point.