Good evening mums, this is in response to step daughter issues... This is what I'd call part TWO. Ok, where to start... I've taken her to many places... 3 different physcs a school counsiler and as for relationships Australia... What a joke they are. We earn to much to even be looked at. Not once did I say I hated the kid... I say I have the way she does things! It's not as if hubby and I haven't tried... She has a very good teacher... Her mother! Now SD has returned from the BIO mum and shit has hit the fan like I knew it would. She has taken her to CPS and the lovely SD who deserves all these chances has told them we neglect her, we do t feed her we bash her and everything else! Needless to say I'm sure docs will be on my door in no time! Lost cause? No! C&$t as someone said... No! Lost... Yes... Manipulative little spoilt brat YES. Just like her mother. The mother lost custody because she couldn't keep her son in school or control him and the other son took off (both boys to previous relationship not hubbys kids)! Her mother and father separated 5 years ago! They didn't break up and move straight on with me! The mother drives the kids problems and it's pathetic... Now we are the ones being reported! It's well past getting her help! So please tell me what other actions we take from here apart from shipping her off and giving her what she wants! I have a big feeling she will see the grass isn't greener on the other side and that she will straighten up! Everyone is so quick now days to get a label on their kids... What she needs sometimes is a good smacked ass! Now I'm at risk of losing my other kids because she is a liar.
Please mums help, I'm breaking down here!
11 Replies
You poor girl! I'm sure docs will see that your other kids are fine and looked after. Also the fact you have taken her to the physcs doctors ect. I'm sure if you were neglecting her you wouldn't be doing that! Must be so tough and stressful. I personally wouldn't be able to handle it so good on you for trying!
Does the girl want to live with her mum? What does she want? Have you asked?
I don't have much advice, except to remind you that the truth will come out eventually.
I have people out there accusing me of abusing my child and my step child. And it's effing difficult.
But I just remind myself on how good of a job I am doing.
Get yourself some counselling. Take a breath. As hard as it sounds, try to relax.
It sounds like you've done everything you can. So you'll just need to let the pieces fall where they may.
Good luck x and remember - child protection services are taught to see the truth. You'll be fine.
Could you let her live with her mother?
Hi ladies, this is the hardest part... She wants to live with her mother now after spending 135+K on a court case that turned out to be deadest lies. Now she can't get away with lying to her father and she can't get away with manipulating him she decided she wants to live with mum. We honestly don't think it's in her best interest. After every return from access visits the kid comes back swearing, lashing out and most of all covered in head lice and rashes. Even thrush. But if bio mum decides to take us back to court we can't afford to fight it and we run the risk of losing both kids. If doc's do step in I'm also at risk of losing my kids as well. I'm over it. I'm so done trying and I'm about to break down. I really don't know what to do. I want to give up but I can't because I know it's not in her best interest.
You have to know when to walk away. The time is now. It might not be in her best interest but it's not in your best interest, your hubby's best interest or your kids best interest, to persevere any further. Your conscience should be clear because you've tried damn hard and you have to take the risk that once she's back with bio mum she will realise what you were doing for her. It sounds like she's more than aware of what she is doing. How old is she?
She sounds like my niece. My sister had custody of her and she made up lies about them too. Don't worry too much about that issue docs are well aware of this sort of stuff happening. My sister had to let her go and she was 10 at the time. She wanted to go back to mum but of course her mother (my other sister) had her kids taken away so that didn't happen. She's in the system. In and out of juvenile justice. She gets bounced from home to home because no one can handle her. Chances are she won't be able to go back to her bio mum anyway since she's in a similar situation? I actually hope she can because that has to be better than the life my niece lives.
Honestly. Until you've lived in this and seen just how manipulative these kinds of kids can be you have no idea! For you own mental health and well being it might be time to let go.
Why do you think you'd lose your kids if docs become involved? If your doing a good job, you have nothing to worry about
What it could do though is get extra support for you and your kids and most importantly your step daughter
I'd be tempted to call docs myself if I was in your situation, and see what help they can offer
Why am I concerned about my children? Because she is making up child neglect allegations. Serious ones obviously. Not I'm not doing wrong but with them it's guilty until proven innocent
Exactly, she's making them up! With no bruises, or injuries to be seen or reported previously, other happy, healthy children who are in a clean house with enough food, that's what they will report
You have all of my sympathies. I have a teen step son who has made our lives hell (including trying to physically harm his 2 toddler step sisters). Maybe see if Child Protection will do respite weekends for her or something. Maybe if she sees life isn't all fun and games, she will pull her head in. At the end of the day, she won't change if she doesn't want to. Let her go back to her mother and when she rings saying she wants to come back, say no. Not straight away. Have an idea about what she needs to do to demonstrate that she understands her shitty behaviour (like apology letters to the whole family, detailing what she did and how it was wrong). Unfortunately plenty of these kids from broken homes see 2 houses as a perfect way to stir shit then run away from what they've caused. I know if I had have treated my parents the way he had treated me I would have had my head knocked off my shoulders. Apparently because life hasn't been perfect with their 2 bio parents remaining loved up and happy forever, the whole world has to make excuses and bow down before them. I would let her go back to her mother and lock the door after her.
DOCS are used to kids making stuff up and are very good at seeing through all the crap. If they do become involved, they will see right through Little Miss Bitch-Face Syndrome (I great book I've heard re:teenage girls) so don't be too concerned with that.
I think all you can do is keep doing what you are doing. She's trying to see if you will give up on her.
I could have written this last year ive had dhs out twice and theyve found nothing interviewed family and freinds and apart from dying from the embarrasment alls been well good luck xo