Can you ever just have had enough of your family, not immediate family like partner and kids but your own family... parents and sibling and their other halves. When the only time they talk or be nice is when they want something like my sister for instance the other day invited us to go to a play center with them on the other side of town.. as nice as that sounds its not just a gesture its a hey can you come get us from home, take us to play center, hang out until we are done and then take us home (she doesn't drive and her partner never takes her anywhere as hes either never well, at a friends, to busy playing games on tv or drinking or hungover or blah blah... or if my son is having a sleepover i will drop him off and pick him up the next day but if they want their kids at mine and even if the partner is home its can you pick them up and when will you be dropping them back? or even if they say they will be picking them up they always seem to find a way that i end up dropping them off no matter what.
or my I've allowed my brother to move in and out of my house 4 times , always asking favours off of me but when i want something hes always to busy, borrowed something of mine, left at a friends house and then moved 3 hrs away so now that i need what he borrowed back hes to busy to help me, although he borrowed it i get told that if i want it i have to go get it. or he still owes me rent but goes to a concert for a week and is now broke and doesnt know when he can pay..
brother also told me that my parents didnt like their first impression of my partner. A man who ive been with for two years and who has helped me and my son through so much ( moving, finding a better job, saving, helped my son with tantrums ect )
A man who I love and am about to move in with .
theres more but im tired.. tired of all the drama and let downs.. tired of helping but never getting help in return, always thinking of others but no one ever thinks of how i feel.
Is there a time when you should just stop caring what people think and stop helping them ? Because I think this is my time. time to focus on my life and my family.. sorry for the rant
2 Replies
There is a time when you stop being a door mat and start putting your foot down. Tell your sister sorry I can't today. It's perfectly ok to say no. It's ok to say no sometimes, it's ok to say no everytime. It's ok to refuse to lend things to your brother. It's ok to say he can't move in. It's time to renegotiate your relationship.
Stop analysing what your parents said. It's really common for parents to not like a partner when they first meet. What matters is how they feel now and that they gave him a chance. It's ok for them to express there feelings and it's ok for you to express yours.
I feel the same. I'm over my family. I have this overwhelming guilt to cut them off even though they shit all over me!! (Not literally lol)
I don't think there's anything wrong with pushing negativity away from your life. The hardest part is DOING it. It's bloody hard!! You've just got to think of what is best for you and your budding family, who cares what anyone else says because their time will come when your brother borrows something from them that they won't get back (or something rather) and they will see..
Use your strength. It's not easy. But remember, blood doesn't always mean family.
And as for them not having a good first impression of your partner... does he love you? Does he love your son? Does he support you emotionally and any other way required? If you answered yes than f* everyone else! They don't have to live with him!
And 99% of the time you'll find those talking people are so miserable with their own lives that they just judge others. Just rub it in by doing what YOU want! You'd hate to feel negative about him based on someone else's 'first impression.'
All the best x