I posted a little while ago about a friend of my mums being over the top about my pregnancy. Coming to the house and touching my bump as soon as he was in the door, wanting me to call him when I am in labour and telling me how excited he is about bub coming along. I never said that this man is only friends with my mum because my sister and his daughter go to school together. My mum is going through a divorce and I've left a DV relationship and have no time to do anything for my self as all you mums can imagine and he hasn't offered to help out in any way only with my daughter, which was concerning me.
Well i gave him the cold shoulder and I didn't hear from him for a while. Bub is a month old now and I never let him know that she was born.
His daughter and my sister had a big falling out and he didn't come around for a while but just recently they are friends again.
My sister told his daughter 2 weeks ago that bub had arrived and when he was driving her home she told him and he tried to invite himself into my house, my sister said that we were sleeping and he still pushed her to come in but she firmly said no you will wake them. So he left.
I have a horse and I ageist him at his friends property. The other day I went up with my mum to feed him and he was there talking to the lady who owns the property when we arrived I heard him cut his conversation short and rush over to mum and I. He straight away said I heard you had your baby, can I have a look. I said no my sister is baby sitting which she was. He later on then congratulated me as an after thought. Then when I was leaving he stood at his car for a while saying I will see you soon I said 'yep' and went to get in the car I knew he was wanting me to invite him around, he then said 'wait when do I get my cuddle'. I said I will let you know he turned his lips down and said 'aww' and I just got in the car and left. My mum rang him that night and told him to back off that he is making me uncomfortable and he wont be seeing my daughter.
I saw him at my horse again later on and he told me that my horse is to skinny (which mind you he is differently not!) and that he would like to put him on his friends property to fatten him up. He had already talked to his friend about it and had her float and everything lined up with out even running it by me! I tried to explain to him that he hasn't been worked all year that he is old now and has no muscle and I don't want him to founder (as he has before) and it is a very long drive to this place (30 mins) but he kept pushing saying he can see his ribs and it will save me a lot of money if I move him and pretty much calling me a bad owner yet I studied animal science and know a fair bit about animals. He knows nothing about horses and doesn't understand anything I tell him.
So since mum and I have told him to leave me alone he has been constantly going up to my horse and feeding him like he is finally trying to help me out as I have no time he is giving him water on hot days and cleaning out his stable. He has never done any of this before. He messages my mum some times telling her that he has feed and watered my horse and he is happy now. I feel now like this man is trying to groom me to get to my daughter and I cant move my horse as I am getting free agistment and is only 3ks up the road, his friend owns the property so it is up to her to tell him to stop going up there. Why wont this man leave me alone. I just don't know what to do any more. Is he going up there all the time in the hope I will be up there? My ex use to do that all the time knowing he will meet me up there at some stage and I feel like this man is doing the same thing but only to see my daughter this time not me. Yet again am I just over thinking things? Its doing my head in. Sorry for the long post.
Re: Am i just being paranoid
Re: Am i just being paranoid
Posted in:
Mental Health, Behaviour
8 Replies
Get an AVO NOW!! He's a major creeper!!!
I remember your last post and reading this as a mother of 4 girls this guy is giving me the creeps. Trust your own instincts and keep your daughter away.
Hes doing it because you're weak. And your mum is. He's sensed it. you're too polite to cut him off and tell him to f*** off so he knows he can break you, and being that type, with no support,he's picked you as a prime type to target.
You need to cut him off CLEARLY.
Get your mum to text him back and say leave the f***ING horse alone and stay the f*** away from my daughters.
Tell your sister not to go near him meet her friend somewhere else and don't get lifts with him.
Then next time he does something call police.
Tell the property owner he's no friend of yours and he's not to go near your horse.
These people imply your relationship is closer than it is and ignore social cues and hints and flat out words knowing timid people are too 'nice' to be mean - it feels awkward, uncalled for. But you know you've warned him, told him, now you have to close ranks and show him you mean it.
Contact the police and see what they can do. A friendly chat from them might be enough, see a lawyer about sending a cease and desist letter. Some councils have community lawyers that can help with this, but otherwise I think in this case it is worth paying a lawyer as it will show him you are strong, protected, smart and won't be backing down. If it's possible to get an AVO get one.
I remember reading your first post. I didn't comment because there wasn't enough information to say whether the guy was just a weirdo or if there was something to be concerned about.
But after this new information, I'd be concerned about your safety.
How old is your sister and how close is she to his daughter?
Are you able to get your mother and sister on your side with keeping him away? If your sister still wishes to be friends with his daughter, try to insist she isn't alone with him. Tell her that she isn't to mention you to him anymore.
Contact a police officer and ask if you should be concerned and perhaps take an AVO OUT. At the very least, it'll mean there is a report on file if he does escalate in his behavior.
Also, contact the home owner about your horse. Politely explain that you aren't comfortable with someone else tending to your horse unless you've given permission prior.
You never know if he'll go to the extremes of hurting your horse to get your attention.
Same goes for your sister, too. He might try to hurt her (so he can 'save' her or just to spite you), too.
It could be that this guy is just a creep who doesn't understand boundaries. It could be something more sinister. But unfortunately, that means you need to be careful and protect your family.
Good luck x and keep us updated. You've got the IM sisterhood concerned now x
I think you need to be an arsehole. Tell him flat out to F off. Tell him not to touch your horse. Tell him he's creeping you out. You don't want to even talk to him if you see him. Tell him IF he continues to, you'll be taking out an AVO. Your Mum should stop talking to him too. And I honestly hope your sister doesn't ever go over his house without an another adult there, or for sleepovers.
If he makes you feel uncomfortable, you're not being paranoid or over thinking. You need to speak to the police and discuss your options. The guy sounds really over the top. Trust your instinct mumma, get onto it now before it gets any worse than it already is please. And please update us so we know you're all ok x
This guy is a freak. I remember your last post and he is clearly a threat. Contact police and explain everything and ask them to contact him and let him know that he needs to stop or an AVO will be sought. Be careful and be sure to update us on how you are. Stand strong mumma