I've been with my husband for over ten years and we have two children. My in laws have always been difficult and lots of ups and down and hate and love.
So I'm a lot grown up now. I am still growing as a person and Definitely think I'm more mature and grounded. However, one thing I've been sure about lately is , if you're related or not , and you treat me like crap, make me feel like crap, you're negative or simply toxic - then you're not welcomed in my life.
I struggled earlier with a lot of aniexty over it and still get attacks.
Most recently I had a minor argument with my sister in law and haven't spoken since. Like I said they've always hated me, it's always been hard for me to be good enough or always being judged and they constantly try to get into our business or judge without even knowing anything (and the biggest hypocrites). The other week she added a Facebook status and tagged everyone but me. It was about my niece. Well my husbands niece. So I deleted her
I said to my husband, I just don't care anymore. She doesn't want me involved and I'm not going to play games all my life trying to win their love and how pathetic they are for being nasty and childish still. Why can't we all just get along ??? I seriously dream of normal in laws. My family are quiet, keep to them selves and don't do anything nasty to my husband. I just don't get it.
They constantly leave me out, make me feel like I'm not part of the family and the biggest bitch going. I think I'm a nice and genuine person. Ok I'm too straight forward and tell the truth and they don't like hearing it
This year she's holding the Xmas breakfast and I'm not going. I said to my husband. Look you're welcome to take the kids but i would rather poke my eyes out then be around fake and negative people. He said. Well we are a family so we are staying home.
I love my husband. He knows what they are like. I don't ever put him in the middle. Well I do say how I feel but yeah. I just said If other members of the family want to see our kids. They can but I'm not going there.
Am I over reacting? Please give me some feedback. Thanks
2 Replies
I don't think you are over reacting! Some people, family or not, are not good people! I always think... If I wouldn't let friends treat me like shit why would I let my family?! The difficulty of this is your children though! They haven't done anything wrong and unless the in laws are mean to them, then they should be able to see them! But...again...toxic people aren't good influences, so are they good people to have in the kids lives? My in laws are a bunch of bitches. Thankfully I'm not the only person who see's this and they are very lonely after years and years of burning bridges and being horrible to people. Don't think you are alone here. Don't think your over reacting! Some relationships need to end.
Not overreacting at all!! I believe the same as you, family or not if you treat us poorly then you don't deserve to be a big/special part of our life.
I almost could have wrote this, hahaha.
However I still see his family. My husband is great and will tell his family off for trying to do something with our children that we don't allow but I go to support my husband (and he has said he prefers me there) and to make the MIL uncomfortable because she knows I watch out for my kids so she can't manulipuate them and she can see that my husband and I are united and she can't come between us (yes she continually tries).
Don't feel bad about putting your happiness first, your husband supports you which is great!