Im feeling so alone an surrounded by people who say they are friends but really arent ...I have no family or anyone close an its really depressing ....im 37 yrs old with 4 children an a hubby who works way to much .Ive tried to make friends yes i go to a gym but im still always on the outcast ...for eg i joined a group of ladies who work out an feel like im the odd one out but i keep trying tonight i log into facebook an see they have had there xmas party an i wasnt even invited ....how does one cope with nobody
4 Replies
I just want to send you bug hugs. I'm sorry you weren't invited but that just says a lot about those people, not you.
Sending big hugs to you. Its not easy thats for sure. I to am living away from all family, have 4 kids and a hubby that works away alot too and i feel your pain. I have a small group of ladies that i hang out with but the first year we were friends i wasnt included in alot of stuff. Now, i take alot of the lead and invite them and now the 2nd year in they also do the same. Sometimes it still doesnt happen but i know they have their own stuff they are dealing with also and we are all different in the way we think about friends. You sound alot like myself that when you get friends you are a loyal one and will do anything for anyone. If they arent like that you deserve better than that. Hope it gets better for you.
I am a single mum with 2 children with special needs and I have chronic illness and no family and yes the isolation sux!! It seems that people say they care but then are too busy with their own lives to catch up or chat etc. But then I think why can't I be in someone's life. I also find people only wanting to chat online but I want real relationships and socialising. It's easy to say join groups but sometimes it's hard to break into cliques. I even tried making groups eg. Walking and single parents but they flopped with lack of interest. It's funny too, as people describe me as positive, bubbly and nice so it can't be that I'm totally unlikeable. So, I'm finding solo activities to do and doing family activities with the kids with open invitations for friends to join in and sadly, using social media and school pick ups as my socialising. But I know that doesn't solve it! Anyways, if you'd like to add me on fb I'm sure I'll have time to chat to you!
I was in the same boat a few years ago and found you really just have to put yourself out there and contact people which can be nerve racking and even embarrassing but you have nothing to lose.....
In regards to the Xmas party I'd comment on the post? Maybe say something like "wow looks like you all had a great time don't forget to invite me next year" or something like that. Then I'd pick a few people you want to be friends with and just inbox them? Just say something like hey really need to get out of house feel like a coffee? Or even things like a walk or play date depending how old your kids are etc. ...
Honestly you have nothing to lose and even if they say no or can't you will be in there mind so next time they have something on they'll probably think to invite you. ..