I have always been a deep sleeper. Even when my child was a newborn i had trouble waking up to her. I was recently spending the night with my partner. i fell asleep first as i normally do, and forgot to turn off my early alarm that i had used that morning. So when the alarm went off rather early, i woke up and found my partner with his hands in my underwear and using parts of my body to pleasure himself. i felt instantly sick, and really embarrassed that i could sleep through this. When i asked what he was doing he said he didnt know I was asleep. i told him he needs to be sure i am awake before touching me, and we sort of just ignored it. this morning i again woke up to his hands in my underwear after my alarm went off. I froze and didnt speak to him and he went off for a shower. when he came back into the room i hadnt moved as i was in shock. he asked whats wrong. then when i didnt reply he said he asked me if i was awake. and i asked him if i replied (i am a sleep talker so its possible) he said no, so i asked why he was touching me then. he said because i wanted it.(to clarify, he meant that myself wanted it) i told him to get out of my house. i feel so sick. please tell me im not overreacting for feeling so violated
11 Replies
Not overreacting at all. Finish it now with this creep. If you can't sleep safely with somebody it will never be good. I had a man like this no matter what he couldn't learn boundaries he just didn't have them it led to the worst sex life ever and even though I'd screamed at him to stop being creepy and don't do such and such, we'd been to counseling they'd told him, eventually even three years later he was still doing it. Get out now.
I would have done the same thing. Clearly he has a problem with boundaries.
And yeah don't let him sneak back in to your life, he seriously doesn't understand consent.
Don't let him back in! I'm married and if my husband did that I would tear him a new one. Because he wanted it what about you being asleep and not wanting it? Why is it what he wants and not you. Disgusting human there.
You are NOT overreacting.
I had an ex that did this. He actually lied and told me he was asleep, too, and me yelling in shock woke him up. He always did weird things in his sleep so I believed him. Or he'd say he thought I was awake.
Until he took it a step further and actually tried having sex with me. I woke up to him very much awake, although I'm still not sure how long he was at it for before I woke up... Or if there were more times I did sleep through.
Get rid of him. No second chances. He sounds like a useless creep. He waits for you to sleep, sexually abuses you, then blames you when you wake up.
If he contacts you again, I really think you should call the police.
Not over reacting at all. Just to be on the safe side document it with police, this is really creepy and really disturbing. Do not let him back into your life at all.
This is sexual assault. No sugar coating. Report it and charge him. Don't let him back in.
I am forever waking up to my partner touching me ot even inside of me and personally it doesnt bother me at all but if it bothers you then no you are not over reacting. Each person is different.
absolutely and it is even sometimes me waking him up like that. but we both expressed our consent in this and are both happy for this to happen if you have expressed to him that you need to be awake and it not acceptable than yes you have been violated you need to not let him back in I would suggest even calling the police and reporting him he clearly lacks control
I woke up one morning to my ex, jacking off while I was asleep on my belly. He had the blankets off me and didn't care. Yes, violated!
I woke up one morning to my ex, jacking off while I was asleep on my belly. He had the blankets off me and didn't care. Yes, violated!