I don't know whether this is a rant, or just wanting some pointers from those who have been there and done that.
I'm currently caught up in the "its not fair" mind set.
I've been seeing news/posts etc regarding about "why should we pay for your kids". I've stupidly read the comments.
I'm a single mum. I didn't plan it that way.
I worked, and to my detriment now, had some success in my career. I grew up a mother reliant on the Single Parents Pension - so knew I NEVER wanted to go there. I saved my money, bought a house, bought an investment property & then met the father of my children. No1 was an accident. I was prepared to do it alone - I had the finances to do so.
He convinced me to give the "rocky" us a go. Child No1 wasn't even a year old when he left, with No2 on the way. We survived. I used my resources to and took unpaid maternity leave. He had no interest in the kids. I did a property settlement that gave him some of my assets just because I didn't want to fight.
He saw me surviving, and wasn't happy, threatened to financially ruin me & did so through the family court. Still, I smile & think I can move on. At this stage, there is no equity in my home (mortgage is slightly less than rents in the same area), investment property sold for lawyers fees & I've $100k of personal loan debt.
Then, I lose my job. Its been not quite 7 years - so I miss out on my long service leave payout. I've 10 weeks to find another job.
I know I was lucky where I was. I know to be able to look after my family I need to take a huge step down. So I am applying for appropriate levels & being told I am overqualified. With no family around, I cannot apply for full-time employment due to daycare. Recruiters wont list, as I don't "tick" their boxes. I've 4 weeks before my redundancy runs out and I am in trouble.
I have thought I could arrange daycare closer to the city (likely place to work) so I could do full time, but the cost of paying for that whilst job searching is tremendous.
The ex is on significant income, so I am lucky to get decent child support. With CSA & pension I get $30k. Looking on the web, I see that I could earn $80k to qualify for rent assistance. Nope. As his child support is significant, I only qualify for base rate family tax, which mean that I cannot ever qualify for rent assistance. How fair is that, I could be earning an extra $50k and still get the $150 per fortnight!!
I am feeling bummed and there seems to be no support for those of us caught in this middle ground. I want this to be temporary. But how do I change things? How can I get a job, any job? I've 20 years in one industry & not even the local bakery will employ me as they assume that I will leave as soon as I get something better paid.
I'm thankful for government handouts. Its the only reason why I am surviving at the moment. I did not plan my life this way. Everything lost for because of a failed relationship with someone who wanted to make me pay.
Has anyone successfully climbed down the corporate ladder? How do you do so?? What can I do to stop my life crumbling further into a mess. I cannot move due to family court orders, but also, rents in my area are way too much. My repayments for personal loans for him taking me to court exceed $20k per year alone.
Where to from here?
2 Replies
It's incredibly hard to find a job at the moment, everybody seems to be having trouble. Keep trying you will find something. Maybe a career change, or make sure you talk about the purposeful decision to change roles for long term to gain a better work life balance with your kids.
I've been looking at any, and every job. I cannot grab an interview at all, let alone being able to talk to someone to convince them I am going to make it!
its so hard