Please post Anon:
We have 3 children all ages 5 and under. I've been in hospital recently with an acute illness and the time I was there not once did my OH ask how I was feeling or show an ounce of care or compassion towards the fact that I was seriously sick. He constantly criticizes everything I do and feel like I am walking on eggshells in my own home. Today he started on me about something I'd done wrong in his mind (I'm still quite sick and caring for our 3 children) and thought it was ok to swear and treat me like dirt in front of our kids, I was never brought up this way and don't want my kids to be brought up like that. I'm not sure what I am asking but I feel like I'm in an emotionless and loveless relationship. I love him heaps and try so hard every day to be affectionate but get bigger all in return. Any advice?
2 Replies
Leave him, he is abusing you verbally, don't put up with it.
All these people that say leave? Just don't understand where you are right now. I was once in this position thankfully I got myself out. My ex was emotionally and mentally abusive and was on the verge of becoming physically abusive. I did indeed leave after putting up with it for 8.5 years. It's a long time to live like that. I was hospitalised with my youngest daughter. I got home and my house was trashed he wouldn't help me with anything and if I wanted him to look after the kids oh my lord would I cop it. I got out when my youngest was 7 months old. Best decision of my life. I loved the idea of him, the person I wanted him to be the person I knew he'd never be. When I finally got out all I felt was freedom. I could breath again, I could be me again. 2 years later I am in a relationship, I am happy, I'm respected , he treats me like a queen and I love him for who he actually is, not who I want him to be. He helps around the house. He's still getting used to my kids. We are us and we are a family.
You could try couple/relationship counselling to see if that will help with anything. If he won't go nothing will change. You could try talking to him but I don't think he'd really listen. Write a letter but ultimately that won't work either. And it's not ok for him to treat you like crap weather your kids are around or not. You are worth more!! You deserve better!! Find your self, find your worth and gain some of your self respect back. You need to love yourself before you can love someone else.