Hey there I.M's
Needing some pre-emptive advice. My mum is wildly immature and becomes upset very easily. Now, I know it will come up that she will want to be in the room when I give birth, that is not what I want. I just my hubby by my side.
Recently, my mothers husband's daughter-in-law had a baby and Mum was convinced she was wanted in the room, no i am friends with the daughter-in-law and she was quite distressed by the fact that my mother had interjected herself. Fortunately, she had a half hour labor and my mother couldn't get there in time.
I just need ways to address the issue in the most sensitive way possible.
Also, i have flaming hot, sore sticky nipples... tell me someone knows how to get a little relief??? Haha.
Thanks ladies! Xxoo
4 Replies
Before your mum gets a chance to raise the topic talk a lot about how much you are looking forward to sharing the birth with your husband and what a special intimate bonding experience it is between TWO people. How you think it will bring your husband and you closer together.
Also be clear that you would be mortified for anyone other than your husband to see your vagina. And that you believe the birth Should be for the people that made the baby. Don't mention your mother at all.
As you only want your partner in the room don't tell anyone when you are in labour. Keep it between you and your hubby, that way there are no people rocking up uninvited.
Make sure you tell the midwives who is and isn't allowed during labour, they will kick anyone out, or stop people coming in you don't want and will happily take the blame.
Just don't call her until you've had the baby. First time she interjected, gathered a group at hospital when I hadn't called her, kept calling the midwife to let her in the room, waited at the door, called to tell me she's waiting right outside the door, then midwife brought her in the second I'd had the baby I hated it.
Second time I didn't call until about 5 hours after - when I felt like it. And it was GREAT.
OMG your mother sounds like mine lol :)
first things first tell your midwife that you do not wish to have anyone but your husband and any medical personnel that may be required be specific with how many and who you want. for example my first birth I was induced we told no-one I was going in, but my mum had already expressed her interest to be here and be in the room with me. I was just honest and told her how I felt her feelings were hurt and she did sulk for some time but forgot about it by time my son was born. my daughter was different as we had to leave our son somewhere but decided to leave him with in laws, and chose not to tell anyone else.
First tell the midwives who you want in, they are more than happy to take the blame. As for the nipples, have you tried using hydrogel breast discs? You can find them in Coles next to the breast pads. Store them in the fridge for extra cooling effect. Great to have on hand while you get used to breast feeding too if you're going to try. Best if luck!