:-( crying right now. How do I get my husband to stop smacking our kids at bedtime? Can't cope, it's ruining my respect for him. Regardless of stresses etc in our life it's not ok. I've tried talking to him and it's awkward, we disagree and I've had enough :-( :-( we are going away without him for 4 days to help my mum and I am looking forward to it, when I'd normally be sad to be away from him. :-(
3 Replies
My husband doesn't smack but he does get short tempered and kids end up crying. Im stricter but Im not mean, just straight to the point but kind, I don't want them to go to bed crying. I tell him this upsets me and it's important to me, that I really don't want them going to bed like that. Your husband probably needs some other tools to handle bedtime.
I know how you feel. They're only smacking because they're frustrated and it only makes the kids worse!
Can you both just agree that he not be involved with bedtime? He doesn't have the patience to deal with it (it seems from your one short post).
Can you together try to plan another way of dealing with the kids, not your way, not his way but a joint way. Talk about why you dont' like the smacking, why he does and what impact it has. Think of some other type of punishments and give him examples of how to tackle it.
If your kids have a favourite toy that they take to bed, maybe use that as a bargaining tool. My kids have pillow pets that light up, if they are misbehaving at bed time I give them a warning that if they continue it will be taken away and some nights it does, yes they cry and sometimes scream out but I will not give it back. I've only had to do it prob once to each of them and now the threat of it is good enough to make them stop. The 3 older ones all share a room so bedtime can be pretty crazy in this house.
Its important to be a united front. I agree with the other poster maybe u could take over bedtime on your own if you don't like the way he does it. But then it could be why he's doing that, he know you dont' like it so he keeps doing it hoping you'll just say 'fine i'll do it all by myself'. Then its win for him, he doesn't have to deal with his children and gets time on his own.