More of a vent than a question, but I would be interested in seeing the opinions of the sisterhood...
Ok so for a long time my hubby was using recreational drugs, i.e. Weed. I mean, almost half his life. Going back a couple of years things got a bit too much for him stress-wise and he begun to use more, probably not unlike people who will have a few extra glasses of wine when they're stressed. Both drugs, yes I know.
Well the extra use led to him having a mental breakdown and he was hospitalised. Since then he has stopped smoking pot altogether and has the very occasional drink, never was a big drinker to start with and in over 17 years have seen him 'drunk' only once.
He is doing so well since all that, changed jobs, confidence is back etc., but what's concerning me now is I'm fielding hurtful comments, perhaps well meaning but very uneducated, but I can't be with him constantly nor do I need to protect him but also don't want to see his confidence ruined.
The latest comment made was 'oh I hope he doesn't get onto ice'...and I can't seem to let go of my anger about that. Do you think it's just me being defending and protective? I also find it a little insulting, the person it came from knows of his past weed use, but also makes me wonder, do they REALLY think I would put up with someone taking ice in or around our house???
Not sure if I'm more insulted for hubby or myself to be honest.
He's a hard-working man who puts his family first and despite his past habit, it has always been that way, and I don't think he should be judged on the past behaviour. He now wishes he had not been open with this person and had kept it to himself, can't say I blame him
People judging hubby's habits of the past
People judging hubby's habits of the past
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Self Care, Health & Wellbeing
3 Replies
Hmm I wouldn't worry about other people's comments as long as you know he's sorted and on the way up not down tgats all that matters.
They could have said it thinking that he has an addictive personality and ice is so destructive, that's a game changer. Whatever they were thinking people say stupid things sometimes, just take a big breath and woo-sahhh.
If they repeat it, definitely don't confide in them anymore, take the topic off the table.
See it from an outsiders perspective. You did put up with drug use, so it would be natural to worry you would put up with ice use.
If you were my sister, although I'd want to cheer your hubby and you along I would still be deeply frightened for your future, and be watching you both carefully.
Unfortunately recovery from addiction etc is rarely a straight line im clean now so will never ever go back. It just doesn't work that way for a lot of people.
I'm not saying you shouldn't cheer hubby along, you certainly should. But you need to understand it's normal for people to be totally cautious and sceptical about it.
I can guarantee if it wasn't your hubby you'd be thinking the same thing.
OP here. I totally get where you're coming from, but as I outlined with the barely-any alcohol use etc., I would be more concerned than anyone if I thought for a second he had an addictive personality. You being clean for as long as you have been, it is just hard when they judge as if he only gave up five minutes ago, I'm sure you understand that too ;) I just like to give credit where it's due.
It can't have been easy for him doing it as long as he had, and mixing with tobacco, apparently the worst thing to break from, not being a smoker I can't truly understand, but with many so people struggling to give up cigarettes it can't be easy.
I guess it has only been two years and people aren't used to the new him and maybe I'm too sensitive, but thank you for the reply