Quick rundown of my past 5 years.
Found out that most of what my now ex husband told me about his life etc were lies , and we drifted apart, quickly. Sleeping in separate rooms, rarely intimate. Last time I thought I would try one more time, I got pregnant, with my 4th child. 18 months later I found out my ex husband sexually abused my daughter, his step daughter .
He was arrested etc as soon as I found out and the kids havnt seen him since.(intervention order)
Kids are 4, 7, and 9. My daughter is now 15, she was 12 when it happened.
We went to court, long story short he plead guilty and got a 3 year community corrections order , no jail.
So basically the past 3.5 years, I have had the kids full time 24/7, except when I had appendix removed and I had to travel to Melbourne for court.
I feel like I am losing myself. I don't have a lot of support, family not a lot of help.
I am starting to hate being a mother, I can't stop the guilt that what happened is my fault (the ex stayed in court we weren't intimate etc).
I have moved since it all happened, and don't have many friends. I keep to myself, to protect me from being hurt again, and so I don't have to go through it all again.
Is there anyone else out there that has been through this ??
Any suggestions on how I can find me again ? Thanks guys.
Feel like I am losing me ..
Feel like I am losing me ..
Posted in:
Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Self Care
2 Replies
Have you had any counselling for yourself? I've not been through what you've been through, I can't even imagine, so counselling seems like a good starting point. Is it possible to get a day off during the week to do some things for you. Can 4 year old go to daycare/ occasional care one day a week?
I know how you feel regarding loosing yourself. I'm going crazy today because Im housebound for long periods of time.
I am getting counselling, though onto my third counsellor as the first two retired. My 4 year old goes to family day care twice a week, but at least one of those days is taken by appointments (one of my boys is special needs). It's just no matter what i do I feel so alone and am constantly exhausted.