I feel ugly all the time

Hi girls,
I feel so alone atm and sad. I feel like i have noone i can talk to. I was obease for most my life but finally in my 30s started going to a gym and lost alot of weight. Afterwards i felt amazing but soo embarrassed at my massive hanging belly and flapping boobs. I decided to get surgery and have the loose skin removed on my stomach and boobs which was the best thing i ever did. Fast forward 2 years now ive lost more weight am skinnier then ever but have bad scarring. I used to feel amazing but since i started work i have had to stop the gym and now i feel depressed. Like i feel like i dont even look like a women/feel like a woman anymore.. i am nothing. My husband is supportive but he is a man and sometimes makes comments without realising the effect. I dont even feel comfortable around my best friend anymore because i feel like she is so much more sexier and beautiful then me. I have never felt any competition with her before i just feel really down and sad after we hang out like i am a looser who my husband doesn't think is beautiful. (Even tho he does compliment me) i just feel ugly and i want to cry all the time. What can i do.. who can i talk to? I tried talking to my hubby but then afterwards i obsess about what he said/didnt say.This isnt me at all. I used to be so confident and felt so sexy even when i was bigger. I even thought maybe i should get fat again so i look more womanly but i could never do it after all ive been through to get this far. I find myself looking at naked women pictures all sizes to recognize myself. I never do. I think they are all beautiful and i look like a freak. I need to get over this obsession with looks as im never going to look better then i do now. I seem to go from hating my appearance/being ambivelant/feeling beautiful /feeling ugly continuously. I wish i didnt care. I want to not care. I think thats why im not fun and have no friends because im boring. Anyway ... no question really here just wish i had one person in the world who could understand and care?